A Few Depressing ThoughtsMy Husband is 21 years older than I am, he will be 56 this year. Most of the time we don't notice the age gap. He is just my Husband and I am, as always just me.
He tells me that I make him feel young. He forgets his age as do I, but then he will go to do something and his body gives him a jolting reminder... Hey stud, you're not 30 anymore, get over it!
So this morning, I was making my Husband a bacon sandwich. White bread with butter, cholesterol, all that salt, refined carbs. Everything is wrong with that as a food choice but he loves it and I pander to him even though I think to myself, he shouldn't be eating that crap. So there I am, frying the bacon and I hear on the radio that Frank Carson has died. Stomach Cancer. My Husbands reaction was "He was 85, just 30 years older than I am"
When we hear about someone well known or well loved dying, it does make you question your own mortality for a while and especially of those close to you. I know one day my Husband will no longer be with us. I know that's a terrible thought and really morbid but it's still fact. I will still be relatively young when it happens and our children will be young adults.
The thought fills me will fear and sadness. My Husband is my world. I would do anything for him. Thinking about him dying makes me think, how will I ever cope without him? What will life be worth on my own? Maybe that's a reflection on my own self esteem but here we are.
Right, so now I've depressed myself and everyone who reads this, I'm going to make a cup of tea. With sugar and a biscuit. Sod the refined carbs lol :o)
RobertaSunset 36-40, F 7 Responses 3 Feb 23, 2012