Such A Weird Thing

The internet.

It's both my escape from reality and my grounding in it.

It's like the stories I read in many ways.

When I live my life, I see everything from my perspective, through my eye-window. Everything happens around me. It's a little scary. I have no control, or not much. Nothing is predictable or scripted. I don't have time to think about what I'm saying or doing.

On the internet, I can watch. I can even watch myself interact with others, as if through a third-person perspective. Like a movie. It isn't quite so scary, quite so in your face, quite so real. I have time to think about my lines and practice them before I say them. Hell, I can even delete them and start over if I think they came out wrong. I do not have that luxury in real life.

My online persona is an extension of me. It's more part of me that my hands or feet, in some ways.

Is it real, not quite real? Virtual reality. Reality still. It's all happening via a series of little numbers, 1 or 0, 11000010101010011... and it magically becomes something. A picture. Something a friend says. Something that makes me laugh.

It's the weirdest thing.

The internet scares me. It takes a life of its own it seems. I cannot see the reality of the people typing.

EdieZ, my dear friend - when I think of you, I do not see your face although I have seen pictures of you. No, I see you avi. Your avi is you. Same as Peza is a cat. And you, Sonnet, you're always a beautiful and elegant lady who seems to be out of the 1920s. Even myself... I don't see myself as that blond woman sat at the desk. I see myself as my avi. My avi is me - I am a skinny little figure with hands raised over the keyboard like she is dancing. This is how I perceive myself and the world.

I was on twitter watching people's comments, talking about Norman Reedus on his own twitter page. Talking about him like he wasn't even there. Girls saying he has them "wrapped around his little finger" or something. He replied nothing. Like he wasn't there. But he was, or will be. Will read, even if he doesn't respond to them. It looks and feels unreal, like he doesn't really exist, just an abstraction on the screen. Is it why women get so bold about confessing their feelings for him? Because it all feels kinda not real? He's a real person though. He sees and reads it same as I do. He posted something and twitter said he posted it 6 minutes ago. And suddenly it strikes me: somewhere out there, that person, that real flesh and bone person, was sat at a computer typing something. It was real. It happened in the real world.

But what happens on the computer screen, that's what I see. Not the real world. I did not see him sit and read and type. I saw his profile pic appear and a tweet come up, and this was my perception of reality.

The mind reels.

The internet. Part of my life. Virtual reality. Escape from this world, grounding in it.

"Close the world. Open the next"

DancingFox DancingFox
31-35, F
2 Responses Dec 15, 2012

I'm kinda not far off my avatars anyway, so you're close. :)

No compliments! I'll not so spontaneously combust... :)

What Goliath said.

*scampers off blushing crimson*

*grabs you and cuddles you instead* ^.^

Yummy. <3

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So, I'm just a pen?

My dear friend, there are times when you need to control your mind and try not to think about things too much.

EP has a certain reality and it's a great proving grounds for learning how to deal with people.

But real life must come first.

It's really that simple.

My mind is a little crazy. And actually, you're not a pen. You're the mask from V for Vendetta...

Plus, I have no real life, currently. So...

Yes you most certainly do.

My real life sucks, Joey. You have no idea :(

Two things here...
Don't be so flippin' condescending Emm! Just because she sees you as you avatar first doesn't mean she lost grip of reality! *teensy scowl*
& also, you shouldn't sell yourself short, you're an inkwell too. :)

lol Sonnet. This is why I love you!

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