Fell In Love With My Straight Buddy - Need Some Advice!

This story is really mind boggling, Read it well. It's long but really worth it!

I came to know this guy about a year ago, I haven't noticed him at all since he's not actually my type. months went on, and I noticed him always going my way, even in public places he goes to the trouble of leaving everyone just by hugging me and saying goodbye. At first I just shrugged the signs. but as time passed by it has gotten to a whole new level. months went on and we became close friends. 

I own a small startup company, and he's a college guy. he talked to me about my experiences when it comes to work. he specifically asked me if I am willing to teach him some of my programming skills. Then we scheduled it. after his school hours. and my after work hours. so that's 6pm -12midnight. 

So the first of training, It went well, I taught him about many things. and he's so enthusiastic about it. I was hesitant at first because I believed it will take a lot of time to do it. But I really enjoyed our time together.

so here's the catch;
Every time he's going home late at night. he wanted to sleepover. the weeks passed on and he slept over for the weekends. then it has slowly become weekdays. then there was the time where we were simply inseparable. Here's the thing. Since the first night he slept over. he always hugged me and fall asleep in my arms. I didn't care at all when he do that at the first week. but as days and weeks went on. the signs has revealed many things to me. there's this instance wherein I had a fever he noticed it already even before I had gone to bed. That night when I went to sleep he hugged me so tight and tell me its going to be okay. During the night I never have fallen asleep, it's because that night. every 15 minutes or so, he checks up on me and hugged me. He's a real hugger. he puts his arms around me like I'm a teddy bear. even cuddles my back when I sleep. That night I felt that he really cares for me. and that he might have some feelings for me.

The night we finally did it;
I can't remember the first time we did it. but since then it's been almost every night. He seems to enjoy it. Every time we sleep. I always notice he is putting his face right in front of my face. which is really weird, but really hot at the same time! haha! one night I felt the urge to kiss Him. and I did. and I think he pretends to be asleep. days went on, and finally he touched me on my butt. while we were hugging while sleeping. I was curious. So I proceeded onto touching him as well. I touched his face, then down to his arms. then to his pecks, then to his nipples(which are very cute and pinkish) then to his navel. then boom! I touched his penis! My heart was thumping like a drum back then. and my temperatures were rising. like i was about to blow. then the impossible happened. He gently held my head and turned it towards his private area. And at the back of my head I was thinking. Is he really asleep? or is he trying to have oral sex? 
At first I was hesitant on doing it. But the attraction is really strong. so I did it. I slip his penis on my mouth and boy, I really enjoyed it. I am bisexual, But I really am not into oral sex, let alone putting a penis on my mouth. but that seems what he wanted so I submitted and did it. until he finally aroused and shot a lot of *** into his body. then I was really nervous on what he's going to say. BUT HE PRETENDED TO BE ASLEEP!
I changed up his shirt and put on a new shirt on him. the next morning he talked to me and told me that why does he have a new shirt on. I told him that his shirt was dirty so I took the liberty to put a new one on. (Really frustrating for me to hear that he pretended)

The next night we did it again! Ooops we did it again and again... every single night.

But the thing is He always pretends to be asleep. Maybe this is his coping mechanism to it. Maybe he's too ashamed to admit it.

The thing is. he hasn't changed a bit when it comes to our friendly relationship.  We grew more and more closer. as people noticed we were becoming more like boyfriends. even his friends is teasing him. even women who are into us are growing some speculation about our relationship.

The very thing that I am confused right now is; 
1. I fell inlove with him, thinking of him every waking day. every single minute.
2. I cannot confirm that he feels the same way. (Coz he always pretends that nothing happend)
3. He never fails to call me and check up on me whenever he's around. 

Lastly I really love Him but I am really scared when I don't know how he feels.

How can I crack him open, or even break the ice on what we're doing?

I am lost. Because this is the first time that I fell in love with a guy not just for sex, but the real connection and care he showed and the attention I felt from Him.

While I am writing this, he's on the other side of the computer working. and I am writing this because I am totally and utterly confused!

Hope you could help!

brent2012 brent2012
1 Response May 21, 2012

Aw, you posted this on my birthday. To me, it sounds like he knows exactly what's going on. He was the one who made an effort to get closer with you, and it seems like he started most of what you did together.

I could be wrong, and I don't know this guy... but from how you say he acts, I think you should ask him directly. Maybe start by mentioning that he's grabbed your butt and other stuff while asleep, laugh and make him at ease. And then bring the topic to asking him if he pretended to be sleeping some of those times.

Of course, it would be more direct to ask him how he feels about you, but that can be hard. Still, I can't imagine most guys stay asleep the entire time while someone sucks them to an ******. Or changing their shirt after.

Good luck, and if you've already resolved this, good job! :)