I've always led a life of being noticed by everyone who has gravitated around me but now it seems like i wont be missed by anyone when im gone; not even my family. Lately, i've been contemplating how i will commit suicide and which would be the best way to do it so as to not leave people asking why or without closure. But now im thinking why am I even bothering to do so because people have stopped noticing me while im alive, what chance do i have that people will notice me when im gone. I swear that the only thing i want the most is the same thing that i despise the most. I've already committed myself to my plan of suicide and now i just ponder what the aftermath will be like. Will people even notice that im gone, how long will my family take to get over my death, will my old friends ever find out that im dead, will anyone ever stop by my burial plot after my funeral, will the people that i cared for the most ever know the importance they played in my life, or will anyone ever talk about me after im gone? I know this sounds egotistical but there's a million concerns racing through my mind right now and these seem like the most relevant. I feel like i know the answer to all the questions i've asked myself but i truly do not know. What my mind is telling me is that no one but my direct family will ever notice that im gone, my family will have forgotten about me a few weeks after my death, my friends wont know of my death until i pop up in some obituary site 20 years from now if anyone remembers me, no one will stop or even pause by my burial plot, and the people that i have loved in my life will cease to acknowledge my existence because they surely do not acknowledge me now and they really wont when im gone.