Scared

My housemate pointed out that I haven't been socializing with other people other than her e.g have my own friends blabla.. I thought it must have nagged on her conscience that I don't this...

I couldn't fathom why there should be a reason for everything.. well, I was feeling down.. she has really good senses to know the reason behind it.. but I guess it's not normal?? I burden her kaa by not being normal?? doing what others do, I always lag behind.. it is better that I go with the flow right???

you know what I always do during this kind of interrogating situations?? I bend the truth so far back it'll snap on its own.. a truth and a lie..  
I would say I had friends, but they appear to be younger 1-3 years from me so I can't really communicate well with older and my age people.. well, the truth is, majority of my close friends are just 1-2 years younger, coincidence really, some of them are in my class in high school.. so no biggie.. It's true I have not known any seniors during the past years, not close to them either... but it's not because I don't communicate with them.. I am not close to them.. it is hard to get to know people who are your friends' friends.. your friends come first right??

maybe I think too much and she is right that I should go out and socialize my *** off..

though right now I'm scared to get out of my shell
I want to curl in like the logo in this group..
I am scared.
should I stay or should I go??