It's A Big Job...

...can anyone do it?

I know all of the bad things about myself. I'm not beautiful. I have severe low self-esteem and psychological damage from years of abuse and trauma. It's hard for me to get close to people and even harder for people to get close to me. I am aware of all of this. Yet, still, I wonder all the time if anyone could possibly love me exactly the way I am. Flaws and all.
Can someone stand by my side, even when I am in one of my moods and have emotionally pulled away or shut down? Can they handle me at my worst? I try to make it easier on those I love- I never take it out on them, I will instead retreat and wait for my sadness to blow over. I try to make who I'm with happy any way I can. I have been burned a lot of times in the past, as I'm sure many people have been. I just wonder if I will ever find a person who loves me so much that none of that can sway them.
SpiritOfTheRabbit SpiritOfTheRabbit
36-40, F
1 Response Feb 24, 2012

Possibly somebody in your life already does. People often underestimate both their own "loveableness" and their friends ability to love. And if no one does yet, rest assured that someone will. e.e.cummings pointed out "love is the every only God" It is omnipresent. And it finds everybody eventually.