Contentious Issue

Where I come from (New Zealand) spanking children is illegal.
Personally, as a parent, I think it's PC bullshit gone mad and find it insulting to be told how to raise my own kids.
Having said that, when I see parents whacking their kids without warning or explanation... it ****** me off!
I think it is effective, when used in an intelligent manner IE: as a last resort and with a hell of a lot of explanation as to why.
And having said that!
I was spanked as a kid. I remember the incidences well and don't feel in the least bit traumatised by it.
I was a pain in the arse! My parents are saints for not beating me senselss!
Ideally, it would be great not to have to spank anyone.
Realistically, all children are different. Some, like me, need to learn things the hard way.
My own children haven't required such extreme discipline but that's just the luck of the draw.
Every situation is unique.
BBWKiwimouse BBWKiwimouse
36-40, F
10 Responses Aug 6, 2010

i agree, there is a difference between beating you're child to death an disciplining you're child. i as a mother, an a young one can see the difference in behavior of the younger generations, there disrespectful , rude, an naughty. i was given a smack if i was naughty or done something i was told not to do, all the things that we were told not to do were for safety reasons, we grew up on a farm so our rules were slightly different from "town folk" but they kept us safe. we also had chores to do every day so we also had things to do most of the time, we were hardly ever inside watching the idiot box. if we weren't doing chores we were playing outside riding bikes on the farm, playing with the animals or just making up some game to play. we had rules, we were disciplined. but i can say one thing. i know for a fact that we grew up with respect for our elders, we don't swear at our parents, we done what we were told an we didn't back chat. i saw how my friends would talk to there parents an i was gob smacked, i couldn't believe how they done it an got away with it. they weren't disciplined. i am proud to say i was an i am a much nicer person, i have manners. plain an simple.

Amen to that mouse. As a couple others put more eloquently than I, you can raise a child never raisin a hand - yet instill fear in the child causes em to leave home the day they're able ... an never look back.<br />
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There is a difference between beatin a child an disciplinin. I asked both my girls how many times they'd been spanked in their lives. Oddly, both said 'never'. The oldest did, however, remember the younger gettin a couple whacks backside for the 'lawnmower jumpin' incident.<br />
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I asked em both how many times they'd gotten a 'flick' an they both giggled an said they couldn' count. One of their fave things to do today is give ME a flick ... when I say somethin 'male' ... somethin 'lame' ... or somethin embarassin - as is my habit. I think that's because we came to recognize it as somethin useful - done of concern for each other.

Most of us seem to agree here that in the right circumstances and with the child's best interests at heart smacking is sometimes ok, and this is the opinion of most people I know. How we got a law in New Zealand that bans smacking altogether is beyond me, they certainly never asked the public how we felt. <br />
A lot of people think in terms of black or white which I think is unfortunate. I'd much rather hang out with the folks who understand the varying shades of gray in between, and I think that it's better for my kids to hang out with those people also! <br />
The proof of the pudding is in the kids that we raise. They are the ones who are qualified to comment on whether we did a good job or not. Nobody else, not the government or society, has a right to pass judgement on our parenting style, especially someone reading something on a forum like this who has never met us! <br />
Just thought I'd throw that out there. <br />
Thanks for your comments guys, it's nice to know that the majority of us are intelligent, rational and fair and trying our damndest to get it right for our kids, although unfortunately, there are always those who think they have riteousness on their side and are not afraid to use it in an unecessarily judgemental fashion.

You think too literally j5ay ... the power point thing was simply an example. Are you totally against discipline of any kind? If you are against physical discipline.. you also have to be against mental and emotional discipline too ... the only difference to the physical kind is that there is no visible evidence. Are you also against "time out" that isolates a child and makes them feel estranged from society ... are you against taking away valued possessions for a period of time that deprives a child of "their rights"? No matter how you look at it, any form of discipline can be given a negative spin if not delivered with a loving attitude of correcting and teaching behind it. Each child is different and has to be treated accordingly ... as does the transgression and situation.

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How's this sound for a plan? Steada insultin others who've gone before you, you mind your business an raise your own. What an excellent contribution to the discussion, you learned sage.

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Don't you have in your country covers for power outlets.....Or are you too lazy to buy them? If money is the problem steal them if you have to, just don't lay a hand on your kids.

I've allays used the 'flick' ... jus a snap of the middle finger from the thumb to any location of the noggin. Leaves no mark, an is really more irritatin than physical. Would that be forbidden under your law? 8)<br />
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I've spanked only a few times in 15 years of this, an I 'think' those times were for situations where their physical safety - or another's - were endangered. The younger one leapin over the mower as the older one mowed comes to mind.<br />
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Agree with sassy on the 'situational' call.

I would much rather smack my child on the hand than let them stick their fingers in a power point with unmentionable consequenses ... <br />
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It's a situation and rational judgement thing!

Thank you Otktanya. I agree with every word you say.

You are entitled to your opinion and your understanding of the term. I am entitled to mine.