I Wonder If People Really Understand What They Are Seeing...

No matter whether I am in the USA or the Philippines I get odd looks when I walk down the street, or through a mall.

Being around 6 foot tall, bald, and looking like you are ready to tear down a brick wall seems to make people uncomfortable.  The funny thing is even though I shave my head, have big muscles, and look a little intimidating, I'm really a big softy at heart.

I love people.  I love playing with kids, and kids love me.  

Dogs love me and cats always want to jump in my lap.

I make friends easily, and once they are my friends we stay friends for a long time.

It makes it very funny to watch people look away as I move towards them in stores and malls.  They appear to feel uncomfortable with my appearance and my boldness.  Yes, I have no fear of walking up to anyone and introducing myself.  If you look interesting and I want to know you, I will approach you.

I have one lady friend in Kansas City who has repeatedly told me she thought I was preparing to either mug her or rape her when I approached.  She thought I looked "scary".  Then when I stopped a few feet away and offered to carry the box she was struggling with she looked a second time.  This time she saw the sparkle in my eyes, the smile on my face, and the relaxed self-confidence.  

After carrying the box to her car she gave me her business card and asked me to call her if I was near her office around lunch time on any day.  I was the next day...of course it was not an accident, I just wanted to know her better.  While we have never dated, she has set me up on 3 different "blind" dates.  She never tells them what I look like because she wants them to get that same feeling in the pit of their stomach the first time.  

The Philippines has not been much different.  They are sometimes a bit frightened by my appearance, but just a commonly by the fact I am a foreigner and they might need to speak English too much.  They get over the fear pretty quickly once they see past the appearance and realize I'm just a nice guy who wants to be friends.  

What they see after they know me is much different than what they see on first glance....

Now, if you try to hurt one of my friends, then that appearance you saw on first glance is completely real.  I will stop you, dead in your tracks.
JosephBlane JosephBlane
36-40, M
4 Responses Nov 26, 2010

Too many people judge by looks these days.

No matter what anyone says about people being shallow with looks, our physical appearance is the first thing that anyone notices about us and it often speaks volumes to them - even if it may be a fictional novel.<br />
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I'm like you. I'm 6' 1" tall, large square shoulders, size 13 feet and although I'm not bald at the moment, I have been at some points in my life. While I can be an extremely violent person, it pretty much takes someone hitting me to provoke that. Otherwise I am a happily married man with 4 kids and pretty easy going. I've seen that look of intimidation from people a lot in life....from little kids to guys who thought they were bad up to a point. Sometimes it's bothered me (like the little kid who ran into my leg at the mall and then just backed up looking up at me with the "OH CRAP!" look on her face) and other times it comes in handy (Guys don't like to pick fights with other guys that they think will kill them....lol), but mostly it just amuses me with the looks. With women, I think it's helped me more than hurt me. Most women WANT a big strong guy to be with them (Not sexist, and not to "save" them, but just the way our internal biology has programmed us) and that helps with initial allure. Once they figure out that I'm just a big teddy bear towards them, then it works even better......lol<br />
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BTW, Jennie5, in the South what you do is called "letting a bulldog mouth overload a canary ***"...lol I had a gf like that long ago - weighed less than 100 pounds and would jump on a 7' guy and start pounding if he ticked her off......lol You keep it up!

I get the opposite reaction. I look like someone who won't fight back, so people try to take advantage of that. Little do they know I'm not such a pushover. A co-worker used to say I am the mouse that roared.

It is interesting. Thanks for sharing. Earler I too was like that but now I have changed. Now I can see the real worth of people. Appearances no longer deceive me. It comes from pursuing truth and undergoing hardships. staying true no longer what comes by. It is very difficult.