Is It What Do People See Or Is It What Do I See?

I don't look in the mirror anymore if I can help it.  My mind has not accepted the sight of gravity's ravages. 

I want to see the 20 year old who modeled and felt beautiful.  I want to be able to wear the ermine with the blue outfit on the runway and hear everyone gasp at the beauty it created in their mind's eye.   I want to see the girl that the guys used to want to photograph.

How does one come to grips with this great disparity that ages brings?  I know I'm still beautiful inside but first impressions mean a lot!
moxiesurvivor moxiesurvivor
66-70, F
22 Responses Jun 1, 2007

Hi Moxie, it's been some time since you published this story, and you've likely thought of this thing to try, though I've read and have tried thinking, just literally, "You're the most beautiful thing here," and it makes me feel beautiful, and, I've actually noticed more people paying attention to me while I'm chanting this to myself too -- so I'm sure saying it to yourself reflects on the outside somehow.<br />
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It can also help you to feel good about yourself when you might otherwise feel down about things. <br />
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Too, think of fun new things you can learn, and try to get really good at them. That always helps me to feel good about myself, more rounded and creative than others (at least in my perception), helps me feel interesting, which is good too. And certainly makes you more beautiful as well. :)

Moxie,<br />
This is i suppose a tragic part of life that the Physical appearance seem to diminish as we age. But do not be sad or upset as people will always be you will see the shallow ones as well as the deep ones brave u have too much to offer

But, there is always someone who looks only on the outside and makes a snap decision - they are the ones who are missing out I suppose. Thanks for the (((hugs))). All I want for Christmas is a boob lift, tummy tuck, face lift, new hair color, arm tuck, body lift - might as well just get a new body? LOL

Wow, you guys - I waited 70 years as of yesterday for these comments - you all are super! Mox

Mox is the most from coast to coast - one of the absolute best.

I think you're beautiful, Mox, and I've never even met you!

They see what they want to see.

Ladee54 - you are so right - that gravity is somethin' else! Thanks! LOL

Thanks everyone for your comments. Isis2008 you are wise beyond your years! Mox

Moxie, you are great, wonderful and beautiful. Inside and out my friend.

my opinion on this is that people real value is inside. and this is not meant as a joke but want to say that if you found for example a blind man.this would be most clear way to vieuw it.because he sure will fall for your inside and energy.and it's not only about the aging but the simple fact that nobody is perfect.he could be also facing thesame aging like you or like a said before a blind man ain't perfect you both would just be attracted by the feeling.i'm not saying go date a blind man but was kind of a picture trying to give a you view of what is really important in life and what sombody should really appreiate on others.

Moxie,<br />
I wish you luck and a wonderful time this weekend. I can't imagine why ANYbody wouldn't love you and be tickled to be your relative. <br />
Smiling and waiting to hear. ;-)

I meet more new relatives this coming weekend. Will see what an attitude change can produce. I think these relatives are more like "genuine" people. Will let ya'll know. Mox

Bet you've heard my favorite saying. "Attitude is Everything."<BR>In this case it is particularly true. And if one is focused on the others in a room, one cannot be worrying about how they themselves look. <BR>If all we had was our looks then we'd all be left with nothing should we be lucky to live so long ;-)<BR>Hope you don't think this sounds "preachy." I have to tell it to myself somes too.<BR>And I have shared your experience with relatives. Not much fun, that. Friends are better for us.

moxiesurvivor I think your relatives (who you've met for the first time) are really not deserving of you! <br />
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I personally am 22 years old and so far I've met a lot of people who are model looking on the surface and young blah blah but they are soooo ugly on the inside....that i dont even wanna look at their face....their sight brings a sense of loathing to me....<br />
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Dont despair even though you are old in years...but be proud of your life...and your achievements...everyone will taste the old age....

I looked at my naked self in the mirror today for the first time in a long time and guess what folks - taking off weight does have it's advantages - a few more pounds and I might like myself again. I do thank my body for carrying me around and for being there for me. It has been a good body considering the treatment it's gotten in past years. Mox

i see those ravages in my own reflection while practicing my sleights. One must exude the inner beauty. Easier said sometimes, however, this will change one's physical appearance. We are all hot!

What a darling romantic story! Perfect fit - great! I'm so happy for you. We just never know what's around the corner in our lives do we.

Moxie, <br />
<br />
I married nearly two years ago to a friend I've known since age 7 and he was 9.<br />
<br />
We have seen eachother off and on through the years, since his family and ours were neighbors, and were in the same communty and church.<br />
<br />
We look VERY DIFFERENT from when we were in highschool and college. <br />
<br />
One of our first conversations about 3 years ago was about our fear of seeing eachother. It had been about 5 -6 years since we saw eachother. We both put on weight, got wrinkles and grey hairs. <br />
<br />
We remarked words to the effect that, we are still us, and each other, no matter how trashed or thrashed our outer la<x>yer has become. <br />
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Our first meeting was very cute, he has a belly, I have good sized head lights, and our hug was a perfect fit!!<br />
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The relationship is also a perfect fit. <br />
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Ha ha, life taken with a sense of humor is a big part of the process of adjustment to change. <br />
<br />

Our country is a victim of Hollywoodism I suppose. I spent Saturday afternoon meeting relatives I had never met in my life before 2 weeks ago. I should have stayed home and met with friends who appreciate me for who I am. I was very intimidated by the whole scene - and maybe it was just me - but - I don't think I will visit there again in this lifetime unless I have a boob lift, tummy tuck, face lift, arm tuck and all that jazz. It was probably just my attitude because they were all "beautiful people" with money to do all those things to their bodies that needed doing to look fantabulous. I know I have beauty of spirit but some people just don't see beyond our outside cover. One other thing - if I had not let this intimidate me - I might have felt differently and they might have also.

You are absolutely right on - thanks for the reminder! You are right on both counts! LOL

Mother nature can be a cruel *****..<br />
But it gives you the opportunity to truly discover folks who actually like ya for you nae just a quick roll.<br />
Althought thats nae always a bad thing either.