At this very moment Im actually in a very difficult complicated situation. My best friend since childhood who is also my neighbour, who is also my best friend, who has the same birthday and both of us are married to our own spouses for more than 5 years (for him is now 10 years), he and I have this, idk what it's called, tho we never speak of it but we're both now closer than ever. He would do things he never ever did to me before like stealing a look at me, accidental touches and sometimes a soft stroke in d head. Some verbal signs r so obvious like luring me to talk about 'intimacy', talking endlessly about a romantic movie while giving me a super long stare with half a smile. I first thought he might be just messing around kidding but when I gave him sum practical jokes like "Do you miss me" kinda thing, he would go silent as a wall but softer than a marshmellow. He will do WHATEVER I ask him to do, often before I asked for it. He is basically a chatty person but when my hubby comes he would go quiet and bossy....oh dear... Im afraid where this road is taking me or us coz to be honest I cant deny my feelings for him too. I love it when he caresses my hair, my hand, a gentle pat on my arm... But dont get me wrong please I love my husband and I don't want any trouble with him becoz of this or anything else. Have any of you had or still having a similar situation like mine???
Confusiana Confusiana
36-40, F
1 Response Aug 23, 2014

You just need to decide if it is worth losing the man you loved enough to marry AND possibly your friend of many years. Your friend is in an amazing position to hear all of your secrets and he likely hears some unpleasant things about your husband while you are venting.

Before we were together, my ex slept with his long time female friend. Now when they are together, everyone assumes they are doing it again. She is happily married with 2 kids and we were together for 14 years. I understood and accepted their relationship but I admit that seeing the closeness was very difficult and even hurt my feelings at times.
It is difficult for people to understand that a man and woman can be friends without anything else. If you do will confirm those who have spoken words of doubt behind your back. They will now feel justified to assume it must have been going on all along. If you go down this road, things will never be the same and you will never be fully trusted with him in the eyes of those around you. Also...all relationships have issues. Are you willing to risk losing a great friend over sex since it sounds like you already have many other parts of a relationship?

Tho I havent really thought about sex yet but yea that is the last thing I want to happen if anything fatal should ever happen to my marriage. My husband is 5 years younger than me, tho many say that age dont matter but it does. The way my bff is treating me is way so much sweeter and smarter than my very own hubby. I have tried to communicate my feelings n needs to him but maybe becoz of his younger age, he doesnt seem too proactive handling the situation. He's so preoccupied with his circle of friends (all males), his hobbies and his dreamy ambitions, if u know what I mean, when I was his age I was like that too I guess haha... On some days, I had spent time with my bff longer than with my hubby.