If They Only Knew........

When I am out in public or at work, I always have a smile on my face. No matter what is going on in my life, I put on a front and smile. I do wonder what people would think if they knew how I felt about myself and if they saw what my life outside of work was like. If they knew I had a mentally Ill sister, a mother who is also unwell mentally and the loneliness, shame and guilt I feel on an everyday basis. Sometimes I sit here and I wonder what they would think of me. Would
they judge me? laugh? Pity me? Think I had something like autism or aspergers?
Insanity lies in this way of thinking so I try not to go there too often but I do consider it. For now, I will carry on putting on that mask and pasting a smile on my face.
deleted deleted
26-30
2 Responses Jan 19, 2013

Boy, can I relate to that!

I'm the same way alway smiling on the outside and crying on the inside. I wonder how many people feel the same but are covering it up the same as we do. I would guess alot.