Do I Even Get A Turn?

I wonder, WHEN THE HELL IS IT MY F*#%$^G TURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EVER god-damn time things are starting to look up for me everything turns to ****. Sometimes I wonder, "why the F*%K should I even try?"

And you know what, I can't even answer the stupid question.

I just don't understand what I have done, am I being punished? I try SO F*#%$^G hard for EVERYONE else 
(even ppl I hate). I am NOT a bad person, I know I am not. So why the hell do I deserve to suffer.

I don't know why I bother some times.................. and that F*#%$^G kills me to say that :(