Giving More Than Love

I wanted so badly to be everything my family needed.  I made the sacrafices I thought were required and found I'd given way more of myself than I could manage to function without. 

 

ichooselife ichooselife
36-40, F
6 Responses Mar 10, 2009

:D me too!!!

you two are lucky to have one another.

This is very tru... my grandma grow up that way... but she did that and did for herself... and was all bout gettin that money... lol.. so me... I'm still a people pleaser.. but me and my boo work together... he will clean my kitchen, cook me food... wash me up... and plenty of other things... I'm glad for him and us...

grits. I was raised by a woman that was born in 1916. I was raised to believe a woman never whistles, doesn't wear pants, could never become a minister, should have perfect knees and is completely submissive to her husband. I learned to cook, clean, sew and attend church where I put in my tithes and participated in the service. I didn't learn until later to tell a man to wash his own clothes because I was too tired to do so. Needless to say...I have a low tolerance for one-sidedness. I'm a much happier woman because of it. Additionally I have a partner now who will take on as much work as I do. Together we collaborate to build success for OUR family. And we pamper or allow space for each other to pamper ourselves.<br />
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SerenitySeeker I can certainly relate to adopting other people's traits hobbies ect. It got to the point where my friends no longer knew me. They wonder what had happened to the joy in my eyes the bravery I always possessed. <br />
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I'm so glad to have learned to love the wonderful things about me. I'm certainly not perfect but I'm a great person. Love will cause a person to learn more about what makes you happy and what makes you the individual they were attracted to in the first place.<br />
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Sorry my response is so long.

Absolutely...grits, I agree completely...ICL, I know what you mean...<br />
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I noticed a trend in myself over the years...every man I was involved with I adopted his likes, his hobbies, his passions....be it trains, whales, basketball...it was annoying...I completely lost myself...I had forgotten what I liked...<br />
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I don't so that anymore...and I am so grateful that I figured it out...no more time lost on someone else's idea of me...SS

As women I feel we all do this far to often. We are not taught how to care for ourselves. We learn how to care for others and love others so completely. Yet, no one ever tells us that the true way to love and care for others is to ensure we have loved and cared for oursleves first to be able to give more to those we love.