I Guess I Have Some Time To Change My Mind...

...I am 27 years old and for the last few years I have been in the mind set that I do not want to have children.
I have various psychological problems that are on-going and I don't think I would be capable of having a child without messing it up psychologically, I wouldn't intend to, quite the opposite. But for whatever my intentions are, I don't think it would be fair to inflict problems unnecessarily.
I know I still have time to change to my mind, but it would take a significant change in my mental health and an incredibly supportive partner to get me to change my mind.
I hope people who physically can't have children don't think I'm being insensitive by writing this story.
On a separate point I really admire women who don't have children and enjoy their life.
My mother is solely defined by her role as a mother to my two younger siblings, she has no friends, no social life, she is 48, my siblings are 22 and 16. They both live at home still, although my sister goes away to university. I often wonder what my mum will do when they both move out. Surely that's not a happy experience of child bearing? Anyway, think I will stop writing as I am starting to ramble.
trixabell trixabell
26-30, F
1 Response Jul 14, 2010

You're not rambling; I hear what you're saying. I admire that you are wise and insightful enough to know you would not make a good mother. I had anorexia as a teenager; I have recovered, and am doing well, but there are still a lot of things about me no one will ever understand, and I don't want to inflict that on children or a partner.( that's only one of many reasons I don't want children ). You made an excellent point that you have to be "more than a mommy". Children will eventually grow up and leave; even if they are still at home, after a certain age, they won't want to hang out with mommy all the time. If you make your kids your whole life, you'll feel very hurt when they inevitably start to pull away from you. That's why I joined this group; no one understands how you would not want children. Have a good day!