Fed Up

I cant have children. I get fed up with women who try to tell me giving birth is the best thing you will ever do in your life. Women who have 1 child and get upset because they want more kids and cant or I want a girl/boy. I hate women who say to me you will never know love until you give birth. Then sit there and complain to me how hard their birth was and complain about their children...... And in the same sentence tell me how talented their little toad is. I especially hate this when your in a group of women who all have children. I think alot of them do this to try and make you feel like you havent accomplished anything in your life. As soon as you try to change the conversation to anything other than them and their little toads. They are simply not interested. They hate it when you talk about where you traveled recently or any of your current achievements. Lol some friends with teens make me laugh cause most of the time my friends just want to kill them. "Where is the love the love the love"
tamaraheeney tamaraheeney
5 Responses Sep 30, 2010

i know exactly what you mean. My husband didn't want children. I'd have liked them and have some grief issues around it all but it is largely the comments people make like the ones you mentioned that upset me the most. People can be cruel and insensitive. I'm finding it really hard at present as My husband's children are now having children. So yet again i'm hearing I'm not complete as a woman because I didn't have them!

Thank you, tigradon7!! Seeing your comment made my day because I could totally relate to it. Although seeing little kids makes me very distraught, there is also a sense of peace and calm that comes from knowing that I'll never have to deal with that. Everytime I see screaming children, I am more self confident, knowing I have made the right decision to not have any. Dealing with young children takes a lot of energy and patience; I, personally, don't have any tolerance for it. Women with children often talk about how having children is the best, most rewarding experience you'll ever have. I'm sure that for some people it is, but not for me, not for everyone. Either you have it in you to be a good mother, or you don't. If you don't, you're better off not having any kids. Trying to be a mother if you're not maternal is like trying to put a square peg in a round hole; it just doesn't work. I'm happy with my choice, and I'm happy to connect with other people who are happy with their decision to not have kids.

From a very early age ( early teens) I knew I wouldn't have children. At 35 I had the surgery to prevent it. I had a long talk with my Doctor first. He was convinced I wouldn't change my mind. I am now 48. I have not changed my mind, and do not regret a single moment of that decision. When I go out to a movie, or a restaurant, or a park, or a shopping center and I see people with children, and the children are always wanting something, or the toddlers are screaming, and Mom is oblivious to it. Though part of me wants to pull out my hair, there is a feeling of peace that comes over me, knowing that I will never have to deal with that. I love my life. So for all those women out there that say.... "You don't know what it's like to have a child until you have one." I say to you. "You don't know the serenity of not having chidren, unless you don't have them!"

I can see both sides of this issue. On one hand, I think it's perfectly normal and natural for women who have children to want to talk about them. Raising children is their life, and these children are their pride and joy. If they want to talk about their kids, I am willing to indulge them. But only up to a point. <br />
On the other hand, people with children need to realize that the rest of the world is not going to have the interest in their children that they do, no matter how talented the children are. It is selfish, unfair, and unrealistic for parents to expect the whole world to drop everything and react to every little event in their children's lives. <br />
As a childless person, you walk a fine line. It is rude to say,"I really don't give a care about your little toads". So smile, nod, and listen politely when they rattle on about their kids. On the other hand, you don't want to show too much interest, because then they will probably expect you to come to every birthday party, soccer game, piano recital, graduation, etc. that the kids ever have. And they will probably expect you to come bearing gifts or send money for every school fundraiser the kids have, You DON'T want to get on one of those lists.<br />
It is very rude, ignorant, and self-centered for these women to make you feel that you're less of a person because you don't have children. If they think so little of you, then I wouldn't worry about catering to them too much. <br />
I hope this will give you something to think about. Take care!

I love this! I totally agree. One minute parents are complaining about how they can't wait for their kids to be going off to college and the next they're whining because they just want another baby in their arms. Unless your child is going to cure cancer someday, he is just like the other little kids in his class!