Empty Nest

for 25 years i wanted to have a baby or three, to be pregnant and go through that whole process. i believe now that because of my troubled childhood, i needed to bond with someone who loved me unconditionally, even if it were only for a time. i wanted to have something in common with my friends, family so i didn't feel different. every month i was reminded it was not happening for me. now that i'm 50+, i fight every day to be alone. when ppl my age find out i don't have children, they avoid me socially so i'm at a loss for friendships anymore. but i'm a writer and a fighter and i won't be discouraged! i enjoy my quiet home and give birth to ideas, characters and scenarios that usually have a happy or at least an interesting ending. my imagination keeps "growing up" and i see life in my books, which i call my babies. this is the plan God had for me, even from the day i was born. no one can tell me He made a mistake! now i give when i can to an orphanage so i feel a closeness to the children there--i am childless and they are parent-less. we have that bond. i look forward to working more with this orphanage so i won't feel alone anymore :)
1almatrevino 1almatrevino
51-55, F
May 11, 2012