Not All Guys

I'm not overgeneralizing saying every guy has a habit of doing this, but many guys do. Especially, from my experience, mostly the older Mexican or Latino/Hispanic men. I just don't see the point in it...

This is an example: Three weeks ago, I walked in on my stepdad in the restroom. He, however, leaves the door open so I have no way of knowing he's in there until I walk in and not just the bathroom door, but his bedroom door. If I go into his and my mother's room to get on the scale they have in there or to retrieve something my mother sent me to get, I don't always know he is on the toilet. I go into the room to get what I went in there to get and surprise, the bathroom door is also wide open. He should either keep his bedroom door closed if he insists on using the bathroom with the door open or leave the bedroom door open and the bathroom closed, but at least close ONE of those doors. Otherwise, can I really be held responsible for this happening on a daily basis? I wouldn't know he's in there, after all. So me walking in is to be expected.

Anyway, so it happened again because I thought he was supposed to be in the living room as he typically is on Saturday mornings and had no idea anyone was in the room at all, let alone the bathroom in the room. So he got mad and I walked right out. I just stayed in the kitchen and told my mother about it and she tried to rush me into my room before my stepdad got out. We were waiting for a beloved uncle of mine to get home because he doesn't visit us often but I was on my way to my room when I heard the knock on the door. I wanted to at least greet him before locking myself in my room. I open the door, run outside and do that hug-tackle thing that little kids do when their busy American father gets home from a month-long business trip in Europe and unfortunately, as we walked right back into the house, me hugging his waist and his arm around me, my stepdad was already in the living room having finished his business in the bathroom and my mother was standing a few feet away in the kitchen looking doomful.

So what happens from here? My stepdad, without even greeting my uncle or acknowledging him or anything of the sort, looks at me and starts yelling at me telling me that he's going to take the lock of my bathroom door and walk in when I'm crapping and see how I like it and other just as equally awkward things. He kept going on and on and my mother just stood there looking uncomfortable as hell and the whole entire time my stepdad went on, he looked at my uncle with a gloating expression on his face as if he expected gratification from him, as if he expected my uncle to think, "Wow, what a man! Look at this guy, WOW! He's definitely one hell of a man!"

Well, dude, this was my uncle he was doing that in front of. I'm his niece. He wasn't going to applaud him for yelling at me like that in front of him. He didn't impress my uncle, he only made himself look like an ******* by acting the way he did towards me; he only pissed him off and made him wonder what his problem was and if he always yelled at me like that. And my stepdad didn't stop there, he insulted my mother constantly throughout the morning in front of her brother like he thought it made him appear manly. Needless to say, my uncle had a lot of questions regarding my stepfather's behavior towards us as soon as he and my mother were in private. My stepfather didn't make him think he was quite of a man, he made my uncle think he was a rude, imbecile of a bastard. I'm not sure if that's what he wanted, but that's what he got. It might have been funny or ego-boosting for him, but my uncle no longer has a good opinion on him anymore.

And no, my stepdad doesn't yell at me like that usually. Most of the time when he gets so out of hand is when we have company. I mean, he doesn't treat my mother and I like princesses with or without company, but he's usually different when there is company, worse. Like he's trying to show off for some reason. Like he thinks treating us like that in front of others makes him look good.

As soon as my uncle left, my stepdad went back to his typical demeanor of asking my mother if she could make him some eggs and some pancakes and bring him a glass of milk... Yeah, no more of his audacity, boldness and insults. The company was gone. He can go back to being how he REALLY is when company isn't around anymore; just a man who needs to have everything done for him because he can't be bothered with the arduous ordeal of picking up a spatula and slapping the eggs around until they're cooked or even lean forward and remove his own shoes or scratch his own back. More a child than a man really.

But yeah, next time we have company, the cycle shall be repeated. Why? I don't know. It's just a guy thing, I suppose. Treat your stepdaughter and wife like crap in front of company and you must have some balls of steel in you, congratulations.
deadmoon deadmoon
22-25, F
3 Responses May 22, 2012

Great insight with your comment on your story of an insecure man. I'm sorry you have to put up with that. I am amazed that men ( or even women) can think that their loud yelling and demeaning words, are impressive to another human being... I find the whole activity distasteful.

Most of those men seem to be from the generation before us.<br />
<br />
I'm guessing they still harbor some of those old-fashioned beliefs about women and treat them the way they were treated in the 50s-80s as it was perfectly acceptable in their era to do as they wished with them for the most part.

There are a minority of self professed 'men' that think that degrading or otherwise putting themselves above women/females (or putting women down) makes them men, especially in the company of other males. Something about power/control/whatever.<br />
It's just bullshit though :l