Why Do I Fall In Love With The Wrong People?

Since I was a teenager I always fell in love with the wrong people.  I was in the closet, and fell in love with my straight girl friends.  Then, I fell in love with a straight woman who turned out to be bisexual...and became long term partners with her.  Long story.  I always seem attracted to women who are attached.  I have been in love with one woman for almost 5 years.  Was mutual for a minute, but she's in a relationship.  She left her, then went back.  I'm still in love. 

I am so sick of this pattern.  I've had other women, and chances.  But never fell in love then. 

Am I purposefully sabatoging myself?  Do I think I don't deseve love?  Do I fall in love too easy, with my best friends?

I just want to start all over.  I want to be open to everything.  I need a new life.

GreenGrl GreenGrl
46-50, F
1 Response Mar 16, 2010

I so much understand... right down to the being a closeted teen and falling in love with my straight girlfiends. I've had the same bad pattern in my love life too. Always falling for the "wrong one". I'm sort of with the wrong one, now...and it's crashing down soon it'll will be over like the ones before it. I too have asked myself the same questions... If I'm sabotaging my own happiness... if I think I'm really deserving of love.. or if they are what I really want in a partner? I develop feelings quickly..fall too easily also.. I'm looking for a new beginning as well... how many of those do we get in this life?... I hope it's infinite amount.. Unrequited love is hard, I've been there too. But you can love again... She may have moved on...and so can you, it'll just take the right person. Don't give up hope, I haven't yet. I love, LOVE too much to ever. Here's to new beginnings and to no more of that vicious cycle. Hang in there.