Love?Was it love? Was it covenience? It sure wasn't greed or sexual attraction. I am not sure why I have gotten married twice to the same man without it being a blissful experience done with all complete security and carelessness. I have always had doubt and the fear of regret in the back of my mind. Marriage was not on the list of "things I have to do in life" when I really wasn't head over heels about someone. It really wasn't something important in my life. More than marriage I wanted endless, unconditional, and pure love. Romantic novels and movies made me want that since I was a young girl.
As I grew older, I learned that love isn't as simple as an ending scene with a majestic kiss. The guy doesn't always turn out to be "Mr. Right". The guy might not always pursue you endlessly nor sacrifice himself completely for you. That I learned abruptly as I submerged myself into the dephts of the growing "organism" people call marriage