Pressured To Get Married..

I got married at age nineteen. Our relationship was great, or so I thought. Shortly after marriage, we moved out of the state and had to pursue "real life," which I was totally prepared for, however he was not. For the sake of this story, his name will be Ross. Ross was a somewhat immature guy who was still wanting to do whatever he wanted, whenever, and wherever. I guess for a 20 year old guy that's normal but then don't get married! Long story short, I loved him with all my heart but as time went on I wasn't getting any love, attention, or affection in return. He never wanted to have sex and I was constantly catching him ************. Shortly after, he wanted a divorce and said we were too young to be married.

During the process of divorce, I met a wonderful guy. His name will be Mark. Mark was caring, loving, affectionate, interesting - all the things I needed Ross to be. Mark and I pursed a relationship shortly after my divorce. He had known all about my marriage. Not long after dating, Mark started talking marriage. I told him I wasn't ready. Well, after two failed proposals Mark still didn't get the hint.
Some more time had passed. Mark was still wanting me to accept his past failed proposals. One day, I agreed to marry him. Right away he told his family. We were already going on a trip to meet his family a month from deciding to get married. Well the second he made that phone call, his mother had the whole wedding planned out.
Fast forward-- we get to Flordia to see his family. His mother takes me wedding dress shopping the day after. In a nutshell-- it all happened so fast!!

Now, I've been Married a month to Mark. Mark is totally the best husband ever -- but why do I feel like I want out? Why am I still thinking of Ross? Why do I feel stuck?
seastar12 seastar12
18-21, F
Aug 14, 2012