16 And Pregnant...

i grew up in the shadow of a younger sister who was my parents natural child, me being adopted. not that i wasn't attractive in my own way...but she was the stunning one and i found myself forever surrounded by her boyfriends, each one asking me how they could win her fickle heart! at sixteen, i agreed to a double date with my sister and her latest guy, my date being a fella who was a big basketball star in our high school. he seems to like me, i was thrilled, and we began to see a lot of each other. a few months into the relationship we started having sex...it was hard not to since my sister and her boyfriend were getting it in the back seat everytime the four of us went anywhere together! needless to say, it only took a few months of unprotected sex to finally produce a pregnancy.  it was 1973 and even though both of us were only in high school, our parents all agreed that the 'right' thing to do was for us to marry. i was secretly thrilled...the thought of finally having someone to love me was more than i could stand! 36 years later i can't begin to tell you how i have regretted the decision to marry even though we are still together. i've got two adult children and 6 grands that i love to peices. i know that by me staying in the marraige it has ministered to my broken little boy who still lives in my husband but our relationship hasn't matured much in all these years. i finally decided that no relationship is perfect and also, it would bring so much pain to my family that it just isn't worth it to look for a way out. 

derweinerschnitzel derweinerschnitzel
51-55, F
5 Responses Mar 14, 2010

My dear friend I must say that I don't know why I didn't read all of the blog but you are such a faithful servant of God and how hard it must be to have a non-relationship with your partner. I know that your faith keeps you there as God wants us to stand by out spouse and you know that is not what I did. My heart goes out to you and I love you my friend.

Hi! It's a rare person that can look back on their life and be really happy with the decisions that they've made. Unfortunatey, wisdom often comes with age. I can't tell you how many times I've wished that I could go back and do things over....And, there are no easy answers...I can tell you that I believe that marriage is based on a lot more than love and passion...In fact, I remember reading from a reliable science magazine that scientists discovered a small nodule in the nose...it causes that chemistry that you feel when you first fall in love (or whatever) with someone...After being with that person for about two years....that attraction goes away with virtually everyone...So, it wouldn't matter who or when you married the result would be about the same...the passion and intensity (from a biological perspective) lessens or goes away....What you're are left with is your libido and the person you married...It's important to work together for certain goals.....marriage should benefit both partners, and work for both...nothing is perfect...we all get on each others' nerves....good luck!

That is quite a story and I am glad it turned out for you. Most of the time it usually just gets worse and at that age having a baby, I could imagine, is like having a bag of bricks on your back for the rest of your life. I have seen what goes on with teen girls having kids while in school. In my school it usually meant another drop out or it meant suicide for a few. I am glad that the both of you worked this out together and I am glad that your husband is a real man who stands up for what is right. I know probably at first there was definately shock to the issue but I am also glad that you both had honorable parents who stepped in and helped you 2 work it out and moved you both in the best direction possible. Many parents today just flip out and maybe 1 goes to the marriage issue and the other says "IM SUING YOU" to the other. <br />
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All in all that's pretty cool beans how you both ended up in the end. :) <br />
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dear heaveny, yes he was and honestly he still is! as difficult as it is, i keep plodding along :) i've been a Christian since 1985 and i can tell you this...without the love of God, without His wisdom, i would have never made it. when you think of it maybe you could say a prayer on my behalf? too many years of unresolved pain have made my heart harder than i imagined :( thanks for the reminder!!

St. Matthews.