Sometimes I Don't Know Why I Got Married
When we got married we were both in our twenties, but before we decided to get married we lived together for one year. We had dated for 5 years and wanted to try living together to see if we were right for each other. As it turned out we were perfect for each other so we thought. It wasn't until after 9 years of marriage, where I felt we didn't have a fairy tale marriage. Now I know that nobody has a perfect marriage. My husband was transferred so we moved along way from home. After getting settled I noticed that my husband worked long hours. It wasn't until I first met a woman who suggested I try going back to work. I had not worked in 8 years so it was something that I was interested in doing. About two years later I finally found a full-time job. I felt so physically exhausted when I came home at night. All I wanted to do was have a hot bath have dinner and go to bed. Now I knew what my husband went through. Unfortunately my job didn't last so now I have been unemployed for 21 years.
In the last 20 years, I have learned that there was something missing and didn't figure out what it was until I began seeing a therapist she informed that our marriage was more like father/daughter relationship. I was so shocked when I heard this there was a part of me that disbelieved what she had told me. Now I have been seeing a new therapist who think I married my Dad. I find that is more accurate, because my husband is much the same as my Dad. Both are workaholics and have their own interests. I spend a lot of my time alone keeping myself occupied. In all 30 years of my marriage we have not done anything together except for going out for nice dinner or see a movie. We don't have any close friends, because all of the people my husband works with is either single or divorced.
Since I have been seeing my new therapist I have learned that what has been missing from my marriage is the emotional intimacy, because we don't seem to share our most inner thoughts and feelings. I am now beginning to focus on myself in how to motivate myself and find what gives me the most passion. I seem to have a passion for writing short stories it is something I have alway dream of doing.