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It Seemed Like The Next Thing To Do

My husband and I got met each other in college.  We were seated alphabetically in class and by some stroke of fate, the girl who was seated between us dropped out of the course after the first day of class so we found ourselves seated beside each other throughout the first semester.  This also meant that we had to be groupmates in all group projects. 

I didn't like him at first.  He is too overbearing and can be obnoxious at times, at least that's what my classmates said about him.  However, as I got to spend more time with him, I saw another side of him, one that is sweet and caring.  Or maybe because he admitted that he liked me from the very start. 

By the start of the second semester, I started to like him too. And the rest was history.  He was my first and I was his, too.  We were steadies throughout college and even when he proceeded to med school while I started my corporate life.  All those years, it was not smooth sailing.  It was like any other young love, so sweet and yet so painful that it hurts too much, sometimes.  Inasmuch as he had a goal in mind, I was just sitting there in the sidelines, all those years.  My parents and friends were starting to get worried.  Time is running by and it seemed like there were no plans about the future.

On our 11th year, I have reached my peak of impatience.  I started to ask him what his plans are.  Sadly, he seemed like he was surprised with the question.  And I was dumbfounded to realize that after all, he have not thought about the future.  I had begun to have doubts about what we were headed for.  I have somehow made him the center of my life and I didn't know what will happen to me if we did not end up together.  Finally, I mustered enough courage to speak up.  I told him if he didn't have plans for us then maybe he should just let me go.  That was actually a desperate move on my part.   He asked for time to think about things.  After a few days of reflection, he came back to me and told me that we will get married.  And we started making plans. 

On hindsight, I think that we shouldn't have gotten married. I think he wasn't ready to take on a new life with me.  Maybe he didn't want to get married to me, in the first place.  Well, after 12 years of going steady and 18 years of marriage, it seemed like all water under the bridge.  But it isn't for me.  If I only knew then what I know now, I shouldn't and wouldn't have gotten married to him.  But such is life.

ladybug1234 ladybug1234 51-55, F 3 Responses Apr 3, 2010

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seems he was not ready even after 10 years and you pushed him to get married and later repented it.
If he was ready - he WOULD have talked about it - but apparently he was pressured into things :)
So it did not work out is my guess.
Some men love to be free and don't want to get married - but be friends for the rest of their lives.

Thank you for your comment wishwing. I guess that's what life and love is all about. It's a continuous search for meaning and lessons as we go through that journey. In this case, I realize that I have to live with the choice I made.

I understand fully what your'e saying, but like you said, by some stroke of fate. For some reason, we are meant to meet these people, marry them, have their kids, then end up splitting up, it's all bizarre, but for some purpose we are yet to find out!! <br />
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Who knows, what the hand of fate has in store for us next..........<br />
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It's certainly an adventure with it's twists and turns, in time, i think we're meant to meet 'the one' when fate knows the timing is right. Good Luck with whatever you decide xx