Why Are People So Mean To Others When They Don't Have To Show Who They Are

Just being new here, I already sense the animosity some individuals towards affairs. Of course, having affairs is not the greatest thing on earth because it involves hurting others and self. It involves strong emotional and physical pain to a large degree and I do believe that nobody is born to have affairs. People who have affairs DO have very strong conscience and moral principles. They are kind, trustworthy, and responsible. They may not be loyal to their partners at one point, but you never know what happened before they have affairs with others.

Just within hours, I have comments like these on my posting: "You made your bed now sleep in it....even though there is pain it's not a topic for compassion” and “that's the stupidest comment I have ever heard you say you would be as hurt as much as your partner.” To be true, whoever they are they really don’t know me, neither do they know my life or my partner. They have no ideas about what I have been through in my relationship with my partner, so simply they are making comments projecting what they know about their own lives, not mine.

For my relationship with my partner, if I told him, I would go finding another man, he would agree to it, simply because he feels guilty by keeping me with him. The reason I am not telling him is for his sake, not mine because I don’t want him to feel the pain and humiliation that each time I am on the website looking for a man. On the contrary, I have told him numerous times that I am going to find my own happiness.

The most challenging part for me in this kind of relationship is that you just simply have to move on without looking back and grieve alone; it is not sharable!!! To the worst, once you share here, people calling you names and degrading you. Before these individuals jump into their own conclusions about my life, they can definitely keep the disgraceful comments to themselves because I will always have my own dignity, no matter what!

As exposing myself to this cyber space through writing my stories to grieve and heal, I do expect others to respect me and treat me the way they like to be treated. Thus, they don’t have to like me, nor do they like my acts, but they need to respect what I write without name calling or putting me down.

When couples or spouses claim they have never had affairs in their marriage, I sometimes do wonder if it is because they don’t have the opportunity or they resist so strongly to extramarital affairs. According to Dr. Huizenga recent statistics suggest that 40% of women and 60% of men at one point indulge in extramarital affairs. That said, if we put these numbers together 80% of the marriages will have one partner at one point involved in marital infidelity.

Remembering many years ago, when I first heard my best friend had an affair with her partner’s best friend, physically I threw up and started to name call my best friend over the phone with her. Today, I am here feeling the same amount of pain that my best friend could not get from her ex-partner and grieving over a short-lived relationship in the summer. Is this real life or karma? I think it is both. However, I do hope whoever used harsh words on me, they don’t experience the same level of pain and loss as I went through with my partner or a man who I briefly fell in love with.
hotyogabk hotyogabk
51-55, F
Dec 6, 2012