No Judging Here!

My whole life I have grown up with very judgmental people especially my family!! I have dealt with my family disowning people, not going to weddings because of their beliefs. My grandpa wont have anything to do with my mother because she got a divorce. So I have seen a lot and it really has broken my family apart a great deal. To me its inexscusable for how they have acted. Who are we to judge one another. I firmly believe you never know what one is going through until you have walked in the other persons shoes. Even though I may not agree with someones beliefs or the way someone acts doesnt mean I have the right to crucify them for it. I truely believe everyone deserves a chance, whether your gay, straight, bipolar, anorexic, goth, athletic, republican, democrat, pro choice, pro life, black, white, christian, atheist, we all deserve a chance, we all are human beings and we all have to live on the same planet so might as well learn to except each other! 
ninacraigmanning ninacraigmanning
18-21, F
7 Responses Aug 12, 2010

There sure will. No offence caused or taken, Tez. Happy new year to you too.

i know and i don't mean to ofend anyone with my answer and i apologise if i have.<br />
but what i mean is that this is never gong to happen because there is always someone out there who will gudge us all.<br />
anyway i wish one and all a happy new year

Tez, Nina was talking about condemning, not evaluating. That said, you're right. Everyone does judge (both evaluating and condemning), whether we are willing to admit it or not. As you said, it's in our nature to do it. What Nina wants is that we do less condemning and more accepting, and that's fair enough.

all of these are great coments but has anyone stoped to look at the trueth,we are human and try as we might we do gudge people we can't help it it a genetic thing it is in our genes i don,t know but we all gudge even if we kid ourselves we don't.and you can say o no i don't gudge people but all the time you are doing this you are making gudgements ie will he/she exept this answer,what if i ofend him/her,can i make a friend here or are they to waked up for me,all gudgments and we do it without thinking we are doing it to so am i going to gudge you? yes i am,has lolcatlover gudged you yes they have.has JsSub gudged you yes as well have you read these coments ? i don't know but if the answer is yes then you have already gudged them so i'm afraid that your coment is false sorry

That's true, Js Sub. Condemnatory people are often defensive and the condemnation is about protecting themselves from what they're dishing out. If they could accept themselves for who they are instead of trying to distract others, they'd be kinder to people. <br />
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Another point I'd like to make is that there are options for people who aren't proud of who they are. Taking ownership of behaviour and attitudes, then working to change those that are unacceptable is the answer to feeling bad about yourself. Then, when you've sorted that out, you will be able to be proud of who you are. <br />
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I've had to work through a lot of stuff to get to the stage where I'm no longer defensive about who I am, and can talk to others in a non-defensive way about issues that cause conflict between myself and them. If I'm in the wrong, I apologise and deal with it because that's who I am -- I have faults because I'm human, but I'm not obliged to remain at fault. I don't lose out by admitting to being wrong, and I actually gain from apologising and sorting stuff out because it often puts an end to the conflict. If it doesn't, I still gain because I was being reasonable, and that's always a good thing. <br />
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Many people are unable to be reasonable, and while nobody's perfect, if you can be reasonable, you're halfway there.

Very well put! I too come from one of those families who condemn and fight and stop talking to each other for years over stupid stuff. I'm so over it! Why can't we each learn to be happy with who we are and what we are?<br />
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I also like what lolcatlover wrote, it's not the judging that's bad...it's the condemnation.<br />
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I think learning to accept ourselves is the first step to improving the world! So be proud of who you are.

Too right. I often find that the most condemnatory people -- let's call it what it is -- have huge planks in their own eyes and do the condemnation thing to distract others from what they do themselves. It's actually okay to judge people in the sense of evaluating them because it helps you to work out how they're doing -- and how to help. <br />
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I'm quite slow to condemn, but I judge all the time. I judged you -- you're hurting and burnt out by hypocrisy and what sounds like stiff-necked pride and downright bullying. You need to be in an environment where people are friendly, accepting and supportive in order to feel better about everything. <br />
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Okay, so by using words like "pride," "bullying" and "hypocrisy," what have I done? Evaluated. This behaviour is hurting you and other people. To resolve the situation, the people responsible need to change their attitudes and learn to love each other. <br />
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Judging isn't necessarily a bad thing, but condemnation without justice or fairness is a terrible thing indeed.