Past Experiences

I have been judged on my weight, my looks, my glasses ever since I was about five years old.  I know how much it hurts to be hated and ignored and left out without even being given a chance to see the real me. 

I will not judge you on your look or what music you listen to or how you dress or on your sexuality, your religion, your skin color...I refuse to be just another shallow, soulless human being.

So, if you come to me and you've been judged, hated, neglected, hurt because of these vapid reasons, know that you will never be treated like that by me. 

CuriosityKitten CuriosityKitten
31-35, F
7 Responses Aug 13, 2008

I've just been plain neglected since the day I was born. <br />
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My home life was an absolute disgrace, it was violent and hateful, no place for a child to develop into any kind of acceptable human being, but society ignored it, the authorities knew and didn't act, and by the time I was a teen, I was emotionally dead.<br />
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I had a sense of being different, I dealt with it as you do, I never let it bother me, I kept myself busy and got on with my life. I had to house, feed and clothe myself, and that's a big enough job alone, so I never had time to feel sorry for myself.<br />
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I'm retired now, and I have noticed that I do feel my solitude at Christmas. <br />
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Everywhere I go, there seems to be groups of people gathering and enjoying each others company, I notice the visitors coming and going from my neighbours homes, the family gatherings, and it does highlight the difference of my life to the majority. <br />
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I actually feel I'm outside of where everyone else is, that I can't belong because ????? There's this feeling of inadequacy, like it's too late, like I missed all the years of learning to socialise, like I don't know the rules, so I stay outside looking in.<br />
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I have no idea why my life has seen me live and work alone, never staying anywhere long enough to feel I belonged, but that's the way it went, as a result, I have become used to my solitude.<br />
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I have a phone which never rings and a front door no one has ever knocked at. When I go to hospital, there are no visitors, and on my Birthday, or at Christmas, there are no cards.<br />
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BUT, I do believe I'm content most of the time, and I'm sure most others wouldn't have much more down time than me, so overall, it's just what you get used to I suppose.<br />
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Just the same, something a simple as hug would have been lovely just a few times in my life, but like everything else, it seems that was for others.<br />
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OK, time to harden up and get back to pretending I don't need affection, lol.

good to know. I know what it feels like being judged. i know how people always say friends dont judge u they accept who you are but i have friends who do that to me and i really hate it.

What an awesome thing to read, I realize this is an older post but I hope others who felt neglected found you and your kindness

That may possibly be one of the best things I have heard on here yet~!!<br />
thanks so much for being who you are ^.^

MB!!!! My hero!!

Thanks friends!!

Kudos!<br />
You are channeling the universe...<br />
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