Cut Too Deep...

 Cutting was a massive part of my life. It still is i guess... But Ive "cut down" (haaa ironic choice of words) because of a very nasty reality check i got a while ago. I'd had a really bad episode with my dad that morning and had just got insanely depressed. I couldnt help myself...It was stupid but i used to carry round a pen knife, just in case. It made me feel secure. When I didnt turn up for 1st lesson, my best friend came to look for me, and found me passed out on the school bathroom floor having cut too deep and let out way too much blood by mistake.  She ended up crawling under the loo door just to get me out and my entire family ended up knowing, as did my school nurse which totaly messed up my life for a long time. I was really dizzy for days and days after, and the scars messed up my arm... It could happen again, which is why i gota be careful, and ive stil got those scars really visibley on my wrist so people often see after all this time. Its ruined a big part of my life. I had to cut down, cos its just too dangerous. Im telling you this cos you need to be aware that it CAN go too far, no matter how much you think you can control it. It controls you...

Bleue Bleue
18-21, F
Mar 4, 2010