Here's what happened at work today:
A woman came in and asked for a puncture repair kit. Feeling cheeky I asked her if it was for her Antonio Banderas blow up doll? She replied "I don't know what make of bike it is, I just know it has a puncture..." I mean, the Antonio Banderas 21 speed mountain bike?? I don't think so. Talk about over her head...
Then a guy asked for some sticky tape. I asked him what kind of tape so that I could choose the right one for him. With greatly exaggerated patience, he explained it very clearly to me "I want it sticky on one side..... and not sticky on the other side..." Yes indeed I am a moron and I ask pointless questions for no reason. I grabbed the nearest tape, passed it to him and just walked away leaving him to it.
Then we had a guy who asked for some forceps. My colleague, who is a woman, passed him the forceps. "I want them for fishing" he informed her "...I'm not a gynecologist!". No... she didn't think you were, you weirdo.
Then I helped a transvestite. He had the full works. Wig, dress, high heels, gravelly voice, shovel hands, five o'clock shadow... I mean, I have absolutely no problem with transvestites whatsoever. I admire them because, for want of a better term, it takes balls to dress like that in public. I just think that if you look like a cross between Benny Hill and Andre the Giant, there may be better choices than transvestism. Road worker, pro wrestler, nightclub doorman... but not cross dressing.
Just to top the day off we had then one thing I really did not expect. Three overweight, middle aged Elvis impersonators. Jump suits? Check. Sparkly sunglasses? Check. Coiffed hair? Check. Any comprehension of how ridiculous they looked? Nope!
This is one day in my job. Sometimes I love it. Mostly I don't....