It's Really Hard.
I don't know why I am writing this right now. I guess I just want to know if there are other people that can truly sympathize with me. This isn't a pity party. I just don't know if I am going crazy or if I'm just normal for my situation.
I go to CNU in VA where I take a full load. I am a commuter student as well. I live with my mom. I work 29 hours a week. I have 690 dollars a month in bills to pay (car payment, insurance, phone bill, food, gas). My mom still wants me to pay rent but I just don't have the money. I work everyday I don't go to school. I have an insane schedule for classes including a 7 pm class I take that goes til 9:30 on Mondays. I live 40 min. away from my school and work 45 min. away from home. I literally do not eat when I am at work..and barely eat while I am at school. I can't afford to buy food, my mom can't afford to buy food, basically we just don't eat. If it wasn't for my boyfriend I would have already gone insane, starved, or lost my car or flunked out of school. My parents are divorced and my dad is non existent. My mom struggles to keep the house and that is about all she provides (besides loans for my school). I am finding it extremely difficult to maintain good grades. I can't focus on writing papers and completing project when my stomach is vibrating so hard it makes my whole body shake. I'm so sad all the time. I think I probably cry everyday. My relationship is suffering in multiple ways because I am so pathetic, sad, and irritated all the time. I want to be happy. I want to do well in school. I want to help my mom with bills. I just feel like I am going crazy and I really do not know what to do. I just wish someone would come and take me away. Is there anyone else that is required to do so much at such a young age?