Saying So Long

This Spring, is a time of sadness, just like last spring. The ides of March bring to us news of imprending death of a loved one.  Every year since 2001, we have lost a family member or two.  Its so hard to go through so very many  Why I wonder, is it harder.  I can barely think sometimes cause no news is good news.  My dear sister died last year of MRSA and a massive stroke.  This year, my other sister is down with a brain tumor.

I try to keep saying, she is going into a new life.  I know this is true. This is good.  No more pain, confusion and despair.  So, I am going to be happy for her. If I can.  For now, I wait...and iin the meantime for some reason I am angry.  I hope I can let that anger go.  It is not good to be angery as I dont want to impede her stairway when its time to cross over.  I hope.

Follow up:  Cathy is still with us after being diagnosed with small cell cancer of the lung and brain. She is in stage four since October.  I was angry for a time, but now I am getting better!  After a few counseling sessions and a good cry.  I guess its all good, we all have to go sometime and we cant cheat death.  Its coming.

Its just that ... we miss them so much.  That is something alot of us share with our loved ones. I have also met so many people here that have endured the same.  So, we look up and thank God we enjoyed them while they were with us.  Oh I know she is still here, but radiation has taken her memory.  I cannot call her anymore. So I saved the last voicemail from Valentines Day...and I will remember for her.  Love you too Sis.

Shellfinder Shellfinder
56-60, F
3 Responses Mar 6, 2009

I am so sorry for your losses. <br />
I have lost two of my loved ones so I can understand.<br />
<br />
I console myself that I was lucky to have had those relationships in my life at all-some don't.<br />
<br />
Do you have any remaining siblings?

I had the same concern when my brother suddenly left us. I desperately needed to do something, anything, to make it better for him, where he had gone. I prayed constantly.

I am so sorry...this must be so hard....I have no words of wisdom, just the hope that you and your family will find comfort and peace....SS