Money And Life

Well, here I am at 56 years of age and unemployed. The reason is I was laid off of a job I moved across the country for, loved it for one year, then had to move back home. It has been difficult to adjust to being home because I said goodbye to the midwest. Now here I am and I feel like a failure. I don't want to go back to the "working and helping people" career field. I maybe just want to do data entry or something.
My dream is to write and publish a book though. My struggle is worring about money and how I am going to pay back student loans. I hear they can garnish your wages, freeze your bank account and take your tax refund AND put a lein on your house. What fun. Then I have credit card debt too.
My struggle is emotional it's not that I don't have a list of college degrees and experience. I just have had horrible job experiences where the bosses and and co workers have been really nasty to me. I hate to sound like a cry baby, but it's true. People are just mean and that makes it hard to go back. That is why I really just want to write a book and have it be funny, entertaining and interesting!
I need to learn to just be happy and stop worrying about money but it is so hard!
Also, I compare myself to others who at my age are very successful.
catstevens56 catstevens56
56-60, F
2 Responses Aug 7, 2010

It is very interesting to read your story. You are very brave and it's great you are continuing your education. That can't be easy given the brain trauma. I would like to read that book you mentioned. Sometimes it helps me to read The Power of Now to get me in the present to realize that I am alive today, they can't put me in prison for being in debt and I do have many things to be thankful for. <br />
I totally understand the work situation. Why are people so nasty at the office? <br />
I also understand about the man and how he will react to the student loans. I think if he loves you he will accept that about you. <br />
I hope that we can be a resource for one another. I am writing a book but also applying for jobs. It is very stressful, but we have to keep at it and hang in there!

Wow! Just the article I was looking for. I empathize with you on where you are in your life right now. I am 35, a part-time graduate student, and have been searching for my place in this world, since I was 17. When I was 16, I was involved in a terrible car accident and sustained a traumatic brain injury. I was in a coma for 3 weeks and the hospital for rehabilitation for 3 months. I was tutored the remainder of my junior year at home, but returned to school and my friends for my senior year. Everything in my life changed after that. My friends slowly left, my brain didn't work the same and school was now difficult for me at times after living most of my life as a straight A student with a lot of friends. I was determined to have things be the same. it took me years before coming to the awareness that I would never be who I was and I had to accept that. I've accepted it in some ways, but in other ways I haven't. I've gone through many avenues of schooling and finally graduated with a bachelors degree in psychology in 2007. With my brain injury, I could only handle attending school part time, and it took about 11 years to complete. I also have been supporting myself since i was 19. I have struggled so much and fought for so much all these years. I am just so tired. My experience with coworkers at jobs has been pretty similar to yours. I've had simple part time jobs while going to school and was a therapeutic support staff for 10 months before being accepted to graduate school for clinical psychology. So many people I meet and talk with tell me their life stories and tell me I'd be a great therapist. That has been my dream all these years. I just completed my first year of graduate school and during an evaluation, I was told that some faculty are concerned how I'd do in practicum placement. First, I haven't had any counseling classes for faculty to judge my counseling skills. I know that it is mainly one professor who I had for 2 classes that wasn't very organized and didn't seem to like when I would ask her questions. Well, I tutored a little at the beginning of the summer, but public schools ended their year in the middle of June. I have been applying online for any and all part time jobs I could find since the second week in May. I was called the end of July from one job-Ann Taylor, for an interview. I went through 2 interviews and was hired. Well, that only lasted for 4 days. The manager told me that she only had 8 hours to give me a week at $8.50 an hour, but hours are increased on productivity and sales. Here was this 8 hour a week job where I was concerned with wearing the right clothes all the time and having to buy new clothes. It wasn't a good fit. I'm not so into fashion. I love learning and being genuine. Not caring about buying the newest trends. So, that's how my summer has been job wise. It has caused me to worry about if I'll ever find a job when I graduate graduate school and how will I ever pay back my student loans. I am not able to handle working full time at the moment. I might not ever be able to. However, I am smart and have skills and talent. Sometimes I think that the car accident I was in messed up my entire life because I'll never be able to find a job, support myself, pay back my student loans, and what man is going to want to be with me when he becomes aware of my student loan debt? Also, I'm still searching for people like me that I can hang out with. I don't mind living alone, but I wish there were people with values and education similar to mine that I could meet. Coworkers from previous jobs always seem to find something they don't like about me and are unkind. I am so tired of being judged. I've seriously been researching a different career path where I am mostly working independently and helping people indirectly. I originally did not plan on writing my life story when I commented to this post. I just wanted her to know that I also share your feeling about coworkers being rude and the constant worry about money. I have begun reading before bed a Chrisian book titled Freedom from Fear. I've always felt that I wasn't doing something right in life to always run into obstacles. I'm not a bad person, and I need to constantly remind myself that nothing is wrong with the person I am. It is difficult though.