I'm Too Scared To Go To The Doctor

My mom is diagnosed bi-polar. I know that doesn't mean that I have it too, but there's a chance and I almost would rather not know. I've been feeling the reality of it a lot lately. In one moment I will be so happy and full of energy; like nothing could ever go wrong in life. And then later in the day, for no apparent reason, I feel miserable. I can't stand to be around anyone especially if they are happy.

I serve in many leadership roles in life right now and people often describe me as such a positive, optimistic person. I think I come across that way because I'm so desperately trying to mask the fact that I'm utterly miserably half the time.
Bfota Bfota
22-25, F
May 8, 2012