Sometimes I Worry That I Might Be Truly Crazy.
I never thought I'd admit it, but sometimes-- I have to wonder if I'm not truly losing it.
Now, I don't mean to offend anyone. Never would I wish to do this, but it seems that one day, I have a grasp on what's going on in my life. And the next? WHOOP. Gone. I've lost it completely.
Here are some instances--
1. My job. You'd think that working in a retail industry, the main focus of every single employee within the core of that industry, would be to accommodate it's livelyhood. It doesn't seem to be so. Maybe I'm not crazy, just naive. But, the politics involved make one's head spin. The higher-ups no longer care about people they used to "serve", but they're lost themselves in a "manger-esque state of mind" and while they continue to say "We care about this corp." what they mean is "I'm losing face with every breath I breathe."
2. University. Here, i was naive. I always thought that a school was supposed to take what you love, and nurture it. To help shine that love into something useful, not smash everything you worked so hard for into a BAZILLION LITTLE PIECES! Umm, as you can see here I'm a little uhhh.. what's the word.. angrified? yes.. Angrified about this. I don't ask much. At all. Competent teachers, a place to learn, and subjects I'm interested in. But it seems one must play the system for all that it's worth, because unless you manipulate it/them, they'll manipulate you. *sighs* I just wanted to take an art class.. I'm good at studio art.. :(
3. The mindless drone of everything one hates.
I see it every DAY! I keep looking around me and I don't GET why people keep up with the nastiness in their lives.. I don't get it, and I don't understand. I'm not "slow" and I'm not.. TOO unbearably naive, but they accept the crap they never wanted to live with anyways.. I'm not talking about stuff they can't control, but like.. Jobs, lack of education *you can read an encyclopedia for free at your local library*, lack of *insert thing that's lacking*, and they cope with things they shouldn't have too. Cheaters, beaters, liars. I'm convinced that if everyone told the truth, we might get somewhere. This is a hodge podge topic.
So, my concern is, am I crazy because i think people should be able to achieve their dreams? Have I gone off the deep end hoping that the Golden Rule will be remembered? And did I lose it wishing no one would ever lose self?