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What If That Never Happens?

What IF, no one else can ever make me feel that way again?  it's been fairly unmatched so far since i met him.  i thought i had great chemistry with a couple people before him but...i wasn't prepared for....well HIM i guess lol

it was instantaneous.  there was a great vibe right away...end of March 2009.  i liked him right away....and just kept right on liking him despite the difficult situations we went through since then til the end...November 7, 2010. the last day i saw him, talked to him, kissed him.  and i pray to God that he never comes back or re-enters my life.

but i want what he made me feel...with someone else.  is that even possible?  the same personality, the same way he kissed me...and omg he knew how to kiss me...the chemistry....i want all of that, wrapped up in someone else.  i'm not sure that's ever going to happen.  and every person from now on...will be compared to that....that, HE and how he made me feel, is now the standard i've set.  so far, no one has even come close.  Right now, i hate his guts and wouldn't be able to stand the sight of him if i ever saw him again....but i would also probably kiss the sh*t out of him and have him out of his clothes in like negative two seconds  lol

i miss him today.  not really HIM, but all the good feelings i had with him.

is it gonna be possible to have that with anyone else?  if i ever do, i'll have to marry him  lol
KinkyFlower KinkyFlower 31-35, F 7 Responses Jan 3, 2011

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I really like what you wrote when you said that you don't "really miss HIM but the good feelings you had with him"... that's a great way of looking at it. The good thing is you know more now what you seek in a mate. He's left you with that gift... it's something I think about too when I remember my "HIM".

that makes a lot of sense...every time is just different...loving each one a different way for different reasons i suppose. As i get older, i'm more worried about not finding it again at all...not just different, but not at all...

This brings back so many memories, of just about every love interest I've ever had. I'm not sure if it was a matter of being afraid that no-one could make feel like the 'She' at the time did but rather being reluctant to accept the fact that every time would be different. That no two loves or love affairs could ever be the same. Of course that is hardly a bad thing but trying to comprehend that at 19 was a bit hard. 10 years later, I feel like finally I am on firm ground. Not that it doesn't tremble with seismic esteem issues at times or depressing weather. I kind of just faced my fears and acknowledged that as every woman is different: 'I know I'll never love this way again'.

there's a LOT of mud around right now that's for sure lol



i just get so impatient! lol

Well. I wish you luck.

its ok mother :) it's just something i hope to be able to forget about one of these days

((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))))))



sorry... Just stopping by.