Tater Tot

No, Tater tot does not refer to a potato-type product that may or may not be hazardous to our health. Tater Tot is my really fat Chinese pug who is seven years old now. I only recently became Taters family. Before he came to me, he was living with my brother and before that an old man who finally went to a rest home.
I see lots of people writing about their pets from the pets point of view. This is interesting, but not something I plan to do full time for my blog especially since Tater would be difficult to write about form his point of view.
A blog like that would look a bit like this...

I'm laying here, I'm laying here, I'm thinking of getting up but my big fat butt won't allow it, and were is my incentive. I just ate all the food in my bowl, and I already took a crap in my masters yard. Of course when she comes in here to cook dinner....Oh boy, oh boy! Here she comes. Yes! She's breaking out the bacon. I'll just creep up really slowly behind her, and with any luck she'll drop a few bits on the floor. Oops, I tripped and now I'm back up. I'm on my way, I'm almost there. Oh crap, she noticed me and now she's telling me to go lay down. Does she know what it took for me to drag myself all the way over here? It's a full two feet away from my comfy, and might I add, very hairy bed. Come on lady, let me just have one piece. If I give her my puppy dog eyes maybe....nope, it didn't work, she's on to me with that one. She stomped her foot and told me, "Tater, go lay down right now." I can't smell that good stuff and not get a bite. Yes! She dropped a piece and even as fat as I am, I caught it before she could take it away and tomorrow, I'll leave her a big surprise right in front of her lawn chair. Pay backs a female dog lady.

Yes folks, that it what a typical blog post would be from Tater's point of view. I might add that he DID leave that wonderful pile of Tater tots directly in front of, not one, but BOTH lawn chairs and I'm pretty sure it's because I didn't give him a ***** of bacon. Well, can you blame me? When I got him, he was incredibly fat so, I put him on a diet for his own good. I told my husband just last week, "I have had him on a diet for months now and he's still just as fat. I don't get it. I only feed him a small bag of moist dog food a day." to which my husband replied, "I give him a bag of it every morning." and my son chimed in, "I give him a bag of it at night sometimes." And just then, I noticed out of the corner of my eye, my three year old dropping a piece of sausage on the floor for him. No wonder he's not losing any weight! And why in the heck does he still beg for food like a starved animal? He's beginning to remind me of my ever widening husband, who is in need of a serious diet now to. He finally realized that when he tried all of his jeans on and had to opt for the sweats again because he busted the button on one pair of jeans and simply couldn't zip any of the others. He should have listened to me months ago when I said, "honey, I think you're getting a bit fat." O.k. I know, that was a tad insensitive, but I have tried to give him subtle hints, but then he'd just go fill a bowl full of ice cream or grab a huge mound of Oreo cookies, so I figured that I needed to be extremely honest and blunt with him. It didn't work. He still eats like a horse. Even the busted button that flew across the room didn't give him pause as he made his way to the cookie jar.
RainyKnight RainyKnight
36-40, F
May 9, 2012