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Strict Husband

Hi,

My husband is always so uptight regarding household chores.He is always keen to find out my SHORTCOMINGS.Sometimes i get so bugged by this irritating behaviour i regret getting married to him.I have a health problem and i tend to get tired easily.But that dosent mean i am lazy.Despite trying to keep the house in order and tidy it up(it's usual to mess things once in a while) my husband is so bothered regarding such things he just cannot take it.He will create a scene out of it.

As soon as he comes from work he sneaks up the whole apartment to see if things are in order or not.If by fault i forgot to do something minor he will immediately bring up the topic and gets so upset as if i have commited a major crime .He is also so conscious about money.He is always calculating every penny spent.

Is this normal behaviour?I have heard guys are always callous and careless about such things but not with my husband.He is always extra careful about stuffs i always wish he was somewhat laid back.

He also is so short tempered it is me who is always cheering him up after we have a fight.I don't remember one occasion where he has come to cheer me.Does this make him bit selfish and i doubt he loves me too.................Or is this because at the moment i cannot work he hates me?Maybe because of my illness.I am confused.  

suhanee suhanee 26-30 8 Responses Aug 25, 2009

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Get a support group in your neighbourhood. You may want to privately message someone (possibly a woman) who you see here who might help you connect with a support in your area so that you can take that next step. I'm in northwest Canada, and will respond if you like. Just use the message link below my profile (if you're comfortable with that.)



Max

Go out where??i said i am ill.i cannot be independent maybe thats why i have to put up with such a behaviour.

Your husband sounds like a mean, controlling freak! Get out now!

Your story sounds like my own from four years ago. I read a book called "The Care and Feeding of Husbands" its by Dr Laura Schlessinger. This book changed the way I viewed everything about my marriage and made me much happier. I believe this book saved my marriage so you might be interested in checking it out.

I agree with the others. He isn't treating you with respect. I was once told by a wife, "If it bugs you, clean it up yourself" and in a way, she was right. So, I pick up the little things that don't amount to a hill of beans and save discussions for really big things like burnt food? Naw that could happen to anyone. Putting your spouse down usually means you lack a positive self image and are trying to pull the other down to make you feel better. Either way, tell him straight that you won't stand for it and he can take a hike if he doesn't straighten up. You can be sick and misearable or sick and happy without him around.

Strict? Honey, is he your father or your lover?



It isn't normal for men to behave like that, and it isn't you. The only problem I see you causing here is putting up with it.



Take care.

Sweety, your husband has a problem, it is one thing to want a clean house, completely other to check it everyday the way your husband does, He is short tempered as you said , but that is no excuse for him to overreact, as you said he never cheers you up, well he would if he cared about your happiness, and no it is not common for men to behave this way, people are hyper about ne thing or other but to behave this way cannot be accepted. If he loves you he needs to show it, you should have some sort of discussion with him. As you said you are ill, that is another reason why he should love you even more.



Take care.

I have also the same............