A Great Visual To Understand Bpd

Someone once described bpd physically by putting one hand up like "stop" and the other hand was summoning the person to come closer. And thats exactly what it is, the I hate you dont leave me syndrome. Whenever I am so anxious and depressed that I cant stand being myself, no one else can stand me either and I burn a lot of bridges. I think the biggest hinderance my bpd causes in my life is in my relationships. I have met amazing, wonderful people and always push them away somehow. When you have a panic attack you can practice coping skills, but in relationships you dont get practice, you get real life with real people and real feelings.

I feel like a long-term relationship isnt possible for me, and marriage is definately out, I think a divorce would shatter me. I got my tubes tied at 22 because I am in no shape to raise a child among other reasons. But I keep seeing the visual of the hands in my head and trying to be accepting and mindful that that is in fact what I do. If I cant deal with the bpd, how is my significqnt other supposed to deal with me?
tmarker86 tmarker86
26-30, F
2 Responses Dec 6, 2012

I can relate a lot to the push-pull of relationship with a BPD person. For many years I've looked at my bf's behavior and compared it to playing with a kitten....how they use their front paws to grab you and hold your hand close while kicking at your arm with their back paws simultaneously. I constantly feel pulled in and then pushed away...it's a confusing and painful thing to put up year after year. I have to say I have much respect for the fact you recognize you do this and want to change it....that's a huge step toward progress and healthier, happier relationships. :)

*tears* THANK you for sharing this; very insightful