A New Domme

My lover has indicated that he wants to be a slave.  He loves being told what to do.  So, if anyone can give me tips on how to begin I would appreciate it.

I have read a few things online but would love to know more.  Any advice is welcome. 

Athena69 Athena69
46-50, F
8 Responses Feb 21, 2010

GabriellaDomina is right. A true slave/submissive is interested only in serving and in Your pleasure. That necessarily means that his needs/interests are irrelevant; he must simply go with Your flow. The question I would ask him is whether he genuinely interested in giving up control over his body and experience. If he is, then there is some hope for him as a slave.

The question i got is another: you want this?<br />
From your post seems that you are only fullfilling his desire, but that's not something in your chords...<br />
I'm wrong?

Focus on your own pleasure and forget about his. That's all it takes and that's all he wants. But it's not as easy as it sounds - you have to ***** away a lifetime's conditioning.

A good understanding of each others true desires are just as important in a D/s relationship as in any other.<br />
I think you have been lucky with your lover indicating where his feelings lie and it would seem that your are more than happy to accommodate him.<br />
<br />
May I suggest that your explore some web sites together that cover female domination and perhaps make a check list as you go along. ---- try www.fetlife.com for a start -- you will find some interesting folk in there who will be happy to give you both some good advice.<br />
<br />
Have fun.

I'm reading a really great book right now called "The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance." I totally recommend picking it up.

First you have to know what you want - because you are now the leader. Then you have to know what he wants, because you are responsible for providing it. Then you have manage/decide who gets what, when, and how. Also, you will be enforcing this. If you are unfamiliar with punishment it is something you need to learn how to do so that no one gets hurt (to much), and it is effective. Not all punishments are corporal - i.e. if her (I say her referring to my slave) mouth offends me she might kneel in a corner holding a pencil in her teeth. Subs have different pain thresholds and you need to know what it is -intimately! slavetracey makes a very important point (her post is of great value read it twice) - is this just a sex role-play game, or is it total and true submission.

WOW - Two somebodies are very lucky!

Well, you are a lucky girl! The first thing you should do is ask him what exactly he means when he tells you he wants to be a slave, how far he wants to go and as much specifics as you can get from him. Does he want to be a total slave or just a sex slave, there is a big difference. It really is going to make all the difference in the world if you are able to set ground rules first. And are you able to be dominate to him, most women get all emotionally bound up with this and get all judgemental about the men. Also, can you keep your mouth shut to your girlfriends about what is going on? I have had gf that told me and their other friends some of the kinky stuff they do with their boyfriends and it got out to other men which distroyed the relationship. If he is a keeper and you are interested in exploring this it can be a lot of fun! I have a husband that will let me play any game I want and I have never betrayed his trust, my best gf is a wonderful person and she knows everything about me but I would never tell her anything no matter how mad I am that my husband does not want to be made public. Really, take my advice on this! If you want to know more write me with details of what he wants and I can give you a lot of advice from experience. Tracy