Is Love For Real?

Hi...I am here because I have never really had someone who LOVED me. I was married for 9 yrs, had 2 kids but GAWD was it awful. He tortured me emotionally, he was a real bastard( I hope it's okay to say that here). Got divorced started dating a married guy??? What the heck was I thinking, Oh I know! He'll leave her and be with me. What an idiot I was, after 2 years I figured out how badly I was being used and all I wanted was to be loved. I would go places and see couples and it would just eat me alive that I didn't have anybody. Well after that nightmare was over, I began to date and I have been very successful at finding all of the wrong guys. I can't figure out why someone would not want me for their girlfriend. I am a nice person, I don't think I am that horrible to look at and I have my act together.But every time I start dating a guy, they just use me. I have not had somebody to spend the holidays with for so long that I don't think I would know how to act if I actually were in a real relationship. Some nights I just feel so lonely. I long for somebody just to hug and feel comfortable with. I am beginning to believe that I will always be alone.

cathypcat cathypcat
41-45
5 Responses Feb 24, 2009

Look, never desire those things which are not in our capacity to acquire, rather we have to try to develop such personality that may pull all things which are in our hearts and minds through proper work in our daily routine life,how, just be there where you are, spending hours with things which are around us but we never pay any head to them, liking disliking open wishful doors in near future and hold back wishes which lead our personality to feel bad about any thing even about wrong person or past. be hard worker in your life speciality and that meditation will be a cause to bring all your desire on your door step, just show patience and remember good things never done in hurry. just be wishful of never desire things out of your capacity and your chemistry to handle. that's all.

Put you love and time into your kids. Try to draw from that until you truly know what you want. I promise; there is no way to lose here. Your kids will be very close to you and you won't feel like your wasting your time.

Don't despair cathy.....You will find a man who'll love you truly..Just believe :)<br />
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N as for the bad times you've had, make it a positive sign...Henceforward, you won't be used again...And you won't let hurt yourself...These relationships might have been painful ones but they have strengthened you....<br />
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Best Of luck ^^

Cathy,<br />
I have been in several bad relationships also. In my case I would say I brought them on myself. I really am a good guy, at least I try to be. I end up with people who are closed off. The harder I try the more they pull away. I am beginning to think I find these people because if someone loved me back they way I loved them, it would scare me to death. Maybe deep down inside I don't think I deserve that kind of love. Maybe we both need to pick better people.

Oh Cathy -- DO NOT give up!!! You deserve more. You will be loved and find that one true love.