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Fly In A Hurry And Pause At Point Blank

I begin to doubt in myself as I begin to doubt in you.
Is it you or is it me?
These are the questions that overcome my mind although I always seem to convince myself otherwise.

I don't believe it should all be pink perfect but I do expect it to be purple, which is my favorite color.

This is the ground where I stand. This is the place where I belong. This is where I find peace & love. However this is also the place where I find resentment and turbulence. I'm scared to the core. I am terrified to my bones. Somehow, it seems as if I'm skipping heartbeats and If I skip any more of these heartbeats I'll collapse. The pressure is too strong, I might fall. I feel these knees buckle all the time.

I look at the Heaven's which is the home of God. I pray and I plea. Patience is my virtue. Curiosity and doubt are not. I need to know everything. I need to hear it from you; but if my security depends on your words then it will be the same as trying to grab the wind: I will be holding onto nothing.

Yes, I want to run away. I want to run far from everything because I could live without this. I could live without pressure, doubts, resentment and anger. But I refuse to walk away nonetheless run. Why should I run away now when it has only begun? Why do I shy away? This is my happiness and for it I can stand tall. I only ask you a token of consideration and honesty. If you show me this and if you also prove this then I will be ready to give you what you ask of me: My heart. Otherwise, I continue being afraid.

My skin begins to turn cold. My stomach hurts. My eyes burn. I'll die, I'll die slowly and you are no hero to save me. You are no God to safe me. I want to run... but I can't. So listen to this soft heartbeats listen to them fly in a hurry and pause at point blank. Notice that between those painful heartbeats your name appears. Notice that the world, no matter how in love I am with it, turns depressive when you keep me at a corner of it.
I can't wait for a response. I need more of what you are giving me. Thus, I'll make you run away with me so whatever is between us can never separate us or I can also go on my own. If so... listen closely again because it will be the last time... It will be last you see or hear from me.

I am like a butterfly, like a dove and even like a lovebird. I need the beauty, peace and love of the world and of the person whom I will be sharing myself with. I need all of these and if you restrain me... if you chain me and hurt me I will no longer be your butterfly. I will truly run away and I suggest you come and take me before I am no more.

 

[La Luna - Take me]
SeaOfSecrets SeaOfSecrets 18-21, F Oct 11, 2011

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