A Safe Harbor When You Need It

I found EP almost like everyone else, well almost like everyone else.  I was in a really bad marriage, I had met someone I fell in love with, and I was hurting.  Really hurting.

I needed help - I needed someone to tell me that my life was going to get better, that I am OK, and that no matter what I thought, sometimes it was my best thinking that got me in the sticky situations and horrid relationship that I was in.

I was in a sexless marriage and found a lot of support here for that.  Just by reading other member's stories of how they were dealing with this, what had worked, what did not work -- this helped me.

I was an emotional wreck - I had NO self esteem.  I was expressing myself through very erotic stories and really demeaning myself - my self worth.  One of the friends that I met on this site called me on this.  He sent me a PM and pretty much called me out, like a father giving a stern talking to a child that has done something wrong.  No one had ever talked to me like that - saying that I should really look at what image I was portraying and wondering why someone would want to lure men like this. Did I have no shame?

Well - THAT really set me off. I was irate - I went back to this member and was really unkind.  He stood his ground. He let me know that he wants nothing from me, but that I really need to check my motives... and my attitude at the door when I come in here. WOW. 

I thought about this - a lot. And it changed me.  I realized that I liked the attention - that is why I was doing this. I was not addressing the serious issue of being dead inside, my marriage or my feelings. 

He is now a really good friend. He pops in to check on me now and then, and yeah - he still calls me on my stories some times. He can tell when I start posting some less than admirable items - that I am slipping back into that place where I am not dealing or living through my feelings.

Thank you to this friend on EP who honestly wants nothing but to help. Please take the time to acknowledge the hurting people around here.

EP is not the same as when I started. People made me feel VERY welcome and open to share on here. No one ever attacked me or my stories / confessions.  I used to confess ALL the time because I needed to tell someone my secrets. Now, I don't even go there.

PLEASE remember what it was like when you came here. If you were hurting like me - pay it forward. 

I still cry sometimes, especially when members post items about hurting and hiding your feelings.

Another great friend on here said, 'Usually, the person who wants to help others before helping themselves are the ones who need help the most.' I know I did - and thank you friend.  You are young, but you saw through this when even the closest people in my life did not. To that - I will be eternally grateful. 

MizzBlue72 MizzBlue72
36-40, F
8 Responses Mar 3, 2009

Thank you CJP. I have . I really enjoy this.

Glad you are here and found the site to be helpful. I know I have. GOD BLESS!

I think this is all true for SO many of us. I too need to step back at times and just remember when I came here how much I hurt - and how much my friends have helped. You guys are ALL wonderful. :)

I felt that way when I first came here too. I never really used the confessions much, it felt like too much. Sometimes I feel vulnerable in stories too...But I do see people join up and they are in need. I really think reaching out to them is a great step. Not just to pay it forward but because maybe...maybe it might help them. I hope it doesn't hurt. But if it does, I want to be here to make it right again. Do what I can.<br />
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This is good to remember. Thanks for writing this.

Why thank you ... It already has :)

mizz.b. i love you i hope your life moves forward in a positive way!

I know -- it was hard when we all first came here. <br />
I hope that everyone remembers that. <br />
No - he won't see this ....

I know how you feel. Some people just love to cause drama, some people just love to act like children, some just don't care about anyone else. <br />
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But, you've helped me, so I'm here for you if you ever need a friend.