A Turning Point

This was supposed to be the day where Wess was to begin the hard work we all do in life on a daily basis. Her usual MO is to sleep till noonish then talk on the phone, pull animal cards and generally screw off her day till she (may or may not) attend a meeting (AA) or attend to some other drug induced unfortunate that she knows. We had a terrific weekend and she cooperated fairly well with everything. She walked about a mile on Saturday and another mile and a hlf on Sunday. Then, last night, I noticed a pill bottle by her bedside. Seriquel. It's a fairly benign sleeper and anti anxiety med. She had not told me about these pills before so I was naturally curious. When I questioned her about these pills this morning, her "addict within" chose to use the opportunity to react to me like a child to a father, not a patient to a therapist. She began yelling and telling me off for questioning the need for the pills. These behaviors of hers I've witnessed in the past many times, starting as a young girl. Maybe it was my overindulgence as a parent that gives her mind that she can treat anybody this way, yet especially someone trying to help her-save her. I told her she was over reacting and that what I saw really going on was that this treatment is working and the addict inside Wessley knows this. That addict within her is trying desperately to escape and leave so that the addictive need can be satiated. This is not something she wants to hear and has threatened to leave. I will not stop her from doing so. I must somehow, if we are to continue this, find a way to get her to acknowledge the need to separate me as her dad from me as a counselor. Hopefully, we will get over this impass. I have asked her to get out of bed and shower (it's now almost 2pyem) and she is doing so. I've heated the yoga room to 115 degrees and I'm hoping a good long sweat will assist in her detox. I'll read the rest of PREHAB to her. She loves the book and she sees the wisdom it contains for her. If she can just get over herself, swallow her pride and accept her responsibility to her own humanity, everything should work out ok. She needs to trust me. She needs to know, again and again, that I care for her as a counselor and I love her as a father. Maybe I'll get the chance to reiterate this to her this afternoon as we stretch out.



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Mar 16, 2010