Have a Lot to Say But Nobody to Talk to

I have realised today that I have nothing to talk about with my boyfriend. Well…I have so much to talk about I just do not feel like sharing it with him anymore. Especially because he is not asking me anything. Is it so hard to ask how my day was?  

Some time ago I was telling him everything about my work, whom I met, even what I had for lunch. Later I noticed that he was not listening at all. I talked and talked and talked and asked questions and…. he never responded. nothing. Once I told him I got fired – even then he did not react. I was really unhappy about it so I told him how I felt. He explained he was a very busy man. Nothing changed. Now I just do not say anything because I feel like wasting my time.  On the other hand I ask him many questions about his work, his trainings… To be honest not because I am especially interested in that. I just do not want him to feel isolated like I do.  

It is so hard. We moved here just over a year now. I concentrated on my work. I do not regret it – for the first time in my life I feel my work matters, I have great colleagues, I am confident I know what I am doing. I had appraisal a week ago and received such a positive feedback from everyone! After G told me the feedback he had received was not so wonderful I am even more happy. And even more surprised than ever because J asked me to rethink my decision as he would still like to see me as a part of his team. HIS TEAM!! I even did not think I am a part of that team! Among people I work with I feel I mean something. I have so much to tell about today’s day!  

But he did not ask. Actually when we met today I felt like he washed all of those emotions off me. I felt sad, miserable human being again. And silent.

spot spot
31-35, F
Jul 4, 2007