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I have an older brother who I look  up to and love very much but he has never understood me. He has never understood how badly I needed his  friendship or how much I wanted his love. We are very different people but  yet we are  more alike then anyone will  ever know. There are things we know about each other that no one else knows, but I guess that  is true with any sibling relationship. My brother went off to college and our relationship began to change. He became less nerdy and more social. Things went down hill when he met his then girlfriend now wife. She never liked me. I am the same age now that she was when I met her but I dont understand her behavior. As a 25 yr old I could never treat a 17 yr old the way  she treated me. She was  very petty. It got to the point where she gave my  brother an ultimatium...it was either her or me. For the 2nd time in my life I saw my brother cry. He asked me what to do and I said that I couldnt tell him that and that he had to make that decision himself. He asked me if I would still love him and I said that I will always love him because he is my brother. Unfortunately I really meant that. There were no strings or hidden messages attatched. He chose her and our relationship was never the same. We stopped talking 3 years ago. He has become an alcoholic. I saw a picture of him recently  and the sweet angelic nerdy face he once had has turned into stone. Hes only 31 and he could pass for 40. I miss him terribly but the person I miss no longer exists. For years he was my best friend and my only friend. He hated  me for that. He  wanted me to make other friends but  I  admired him so much it didn't matter. I  could  get through anything with him by my side but as we got older the relationship became abusive.

AnonymousDiva AnonymousDiva 26-30, F 5 Responses Apr 22, 2009

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I'm sorry about your situation hun me and my brother haven't spoken for 12 plus years now. It hurts me every day and I don't know what to do. We are only two years apart. He's 23 and I'm 21 and we haven't had a relationship since we were kids although my mom told me that my brother never had a close relationship with me or my sister would that make him stop talking to me?

@sillykcat Thank you for sharing! I understand your pain. Parents really don't understand how important sibling relationships are and how much they should nuture them. My brothers and I only really have each other and yet we fight and don't speak constantly. It breaks my heart but there is nothing I can do. They have to want to make an effort just as much as me and that isn't happening so I have to move on. I am responsible for my own happiness.

I havnt spoken with my brother in 3 years and I <br />
Havnt seen him since I was 10 I'm almost 15 he's graduating<br />
Next year I feel like I've missed out on a big part of his life<br />
And we just started speaking a few days ago and it still hurts<br />
He said he can't look at pics of me cause I look to much like him<br />
And it hurts him cause well he was put up for adoption but never<br />
Told he was until he was about 14 or 15 or so he is now<br />
17

I am glad that you see that. Big brothers are really special. I have a little brother also but he is kinda in this weird defiant stage. I feel like my big brother saw me as an obligation and not his friend. Sibling relationships are stronger then friendships. Think about the depths we would go to for our siblings. There are few stronger bonds. There is a new movie coming out I can't wait to see called "Conviction". I would do the same thing for my brothers with out second guessing. I am just not sure they would do the same for me.

Having four little brothers, your story really hit home for me. I've done the college thing and most likely none of them will ever get to so I try to include them in my life wherever I can so they don't feel left out. Your relationship with your brother might never be the same as it was but your story can be a motivator to remind big brothers everywhere that there are always little eyes watching us.