My Version

I have an older brother who I look  up to and love very much but he has never understood me. He has never understood how badly I needed his  friendship or how much I wanted his love. We are very different people but  yet we are  more alike then anyone will  ever know. There are things we know about each other that no one else knows, but I guess that  is true with any sibling relationship. My brother went off to college and our relationship began to change. He became less nerdy and more social. Things went down hill when he met his then girlfriend now wife. She never liked me. I am the same age now that she was when I met her but I dont understand her behavior. As a 25 yr old I could never treat a 17 yr old the way  she treated me. She was  very petty. It got to the point where she gave my  brother an ultimatium...it was either her or me. For the 2nd time in my life I saw my brother cry. He asked me what to do and I said that I couldnt tell him that and that he had to make that decision himself. He asked me if I would still love him and I said that I will always love him because he is my brother. Unfortunately I really meant that. There were no strings or hidden messages attatched. He chose her and our relationship was never the same. We stopped talking 3 years ago. He has become an alcoholic. I saw a picture of him recently  and the sweet angelic nerdy face he once had has turned into stone. Hes only 31 and he could pass for 40. I miss him terribly but the person I miss no longer exists. For years he was my best friend and my only friend. He hated  me for that. He  wanted me to make other friends but  I  admired him so much it didn't matter. I  could  get through anything with him by my side but as we got older the relationship became abusive.