I remember wondering why it was that I did not know my Father. 

AlternateSource AlternateSource
46-50, M
11 Responses Jan 22, 2010

I knew who my father was but I did not have a relationship with him...

That is exactly the way I have always seen it...<br />
And I have held in my heart the feeling that he has looked for me too.<br />
And if he had the chance to do something about it,<br />
this would not have happened.<br />
(it was my Mothers doing, for reasons she chooses not to divulge)<br />
-I have found records of their marriage and divorce, he did exist...

I hope you get to find him someday. I knew my father for 30 years. Unfortunately, I didn't get to 'know' and understand him until just before he died. It was quality not quantity...........

Thanks MM, your thoughtful input is always appreciated.

A universal plight.<br />
<br />
One of life's eternal ironies.

I've tried to find him a few times along the way, it is very difficult as he has a some what common name, and I have no other information about him to go on. I have often wondered what the meeting would be like, from imagining a fantastic reunion of long lost common souls, to a sad and silent trade of looks that wished that a lifetime of longing had not been spent without reason.

I am sorry for your loss skitterish.

Do you think you will try to find him AS?

You were lucky MM, I also had no contact with my real lfather, I had a good stepfather, but a bad mother...Alt made a great one sentence statement about his hurts to not know.

Its OK ;)<br />
Its just another one of those things that made me into me.

It has remained a mystery for 48 years now.