I remember wondering why it was that I did not know my Father. 

AlternateSource AlternateSource
46-50, M
13 Responses Jan 22, 2010

I knew who my father was but I did not have a relationship with him...

That is exactly the way I have always seen it...<br />
And I have held in my heart the feeling that he has looked for me too.<br />
And if he had the chance to do something about it,<br />
this would not have happened.<br />
(it was my Mothers doing, for reasons she chooses not to divulge)<br />
-I have found records of their marriage and divorce, he did exist...

I hope you get to find him someday. I knew my father for 30 years. Unfortunately, I didn't get to 'know' and understand him until just before he died. It was quality not quantity...........

Thanks MM, your thoughtful input is always appreciated.

I feel for your lifelong plight my friend. The only person that I ever called my little brother was adopted at birth, and though he loved his parents very much, he always wondered 'why, where they were, if he looked like them, if they would mind him contacting them as an on. He passed away a few years ago from throat cancer and never was able to connect to his real folks. I think after years of searching, that he finally gave up on ever finding them. I hope that are able to find him, as time is important now concerning your age and his. If there's any way that I can help, please message me. Two heads are better than they say, and I have a lot of you've seen. <br />
<br />
Thanks for the interesting post and all the comments.

A universal plight.<br />
<br />
One of life's eternal ironies.

I've tried to find him a few times along the way, it is very difficult as he has a some what common name, and I have no other information about him to go on. I have often wondered what the meeting would be like, from imagining a fantastic reunion of long lost common souls, to a sad and silent trade of looks that wished that a lifetime of longing had not been spent without reason.

I am sorry for your loss skitterish.

Do you think you will try to find him AS?

You were lucky MM, I also had no contact with my real lfather, I had a good stepfather, but a bad mother...Alt made a great one sentence statement about his hurts to not know.

I didn't just love my parents, I adored them!

Its OK ;)<br />
Its just another one of those things that made me into me.

It has remained a mystery for 48 years now.