I have been happily married to my husband for 2 years, together for 9 years. We have a wonderful connection and love each other greatly. We may not have profound conversations, but we can talk about almost anything or we can sit and be quiet together. I am head over heels for him. (Our sex life has grown steadily over the 9 years and no subject is taboo. Read: sex is frequent and amazing!)
All that being said, he is gone for most of the year due to work. I find odd jobs to fill my time and try to find friends to do things with, but the bottom line is that I get lonely.
I would love to have someone to do things with when he is gone. A companion of sorts. Go to the movies, have dinner, go to a party, chat with, connect with. Platonic friends can fill this void sometimes, but not as deep a connection. I don't necessarily want to have sex with this person, though flirting is who I am and making out is a source of great satisfaction for me. I, in fact, would like sex to be off the table to begin with and maybe it gets there or maybe it doesn't.
My point is, I don't know how to tell my husband that I want this. I don't want to pursue a relationship with someone if he's not on board and ok with it. I know these days there are lots of people throwing around the term polyamorous, but I don't know if thats what I am or not. We have talked many times about bringing a girl home, and I am totally in to it. But that is more a one night stand. And I am pretty sure the person I would like to have as a companion is male. I just gravitate toward men. (My husband is not at all interested in a relationship with a man.) I don't know if he might want a companion too, but I would understand if he did. We are in the same boat. I think I might be ok with it.
It sounds like I want to have my cake and eat it too. I am no where near going through with any of this. But I joined and wrote this because I'm curious to hear other peoples thoughts. Is anyone is a situation like this?
calmsea calmsea
26-30, F
1 Response Dec 10, 2012

At your age I can truly understand but doubt he will. To be honest he is probably doing things but he will never ever tell you that, while he doesn't want you to do anythig with a man. Yep, lots to think about but you will get there and probably soon

I truly believe down deep that he is not the cheating type and isn't fooling around. he's too kind hearted.

If you beleive that then you have the best of all worlds, do not give in to temptations and stay pure and true to him. The blessings of knowing that for you there is only one man and that is your husband. Smile and let him know you need him more that all the work, if he says no, try to find out why