Excepting My New Role.

well, My name is Salida, soon to be 20 with a husband who's deploying for Afghanistan in a month for the first time. I have a baby on the way that is due two months after my husband's departure. Iv know my husband for more than 3 years now, Just married in December 2, 2008. Don't know what to expect from this first deployment, he'll be gone for about 10 months, with me facing the role of being a single Mother and a full time student going for my Bachelors in  Business Management. I'm used to the independence, dealing with extra responsibilities, living on my own since the age of 16, I've always known to do things on my terms, my way in which I run everything I live by. I worry that it might be something Ill get used to by the time my husband comes back, to the point where merging him back into my life with new routines will become difficult and create high tensions us. Taking my place as a Marines Wife does not come easy for me, I find myself to be very dominate, and Being married to a Marine, it can cause alot of power struggles in our relationship. this might be quite personal, but it is something I find myself struggling with all the time. Moving out here in Jacksonville, NC near Camp Lejeune has made it quite hard for me to except my place as a wife. Hopefully it will get easier for me. I'm still young, there is so much more changes to come.

 

lovelygirlym lovelygirlym
18-21, F
3 Responses Feb 24, 2009

My husband gets deployed in May for 6 months... We are at camp lejeune too. I have a 2 year old. Its a very difficult role as a marine wife. Im also very dominate and it does make it hard since our husbands are marines.... But you seem like your headed in the right direction so thats really good... My husband wants a baby.. he wanted me to be pregnant through this deployment. But already being a mother of a 2 year old, i think i would go nuts. lol.... but good luck with your pregnancy ....... xoxo

Hi, Salida! Welcome to the Few, the Proud, the Wives! Congrats on your marriage and your pregnancy, what an exciting time for you! I didn't think I was a good representative as a "marine wife" either. But you will find that marine wives are a diverse group and you will find some good friends. <br />
It definitely is an adjustment when they return from deployment. My husband and I married 5 months before he went to Iraq, there was only 8 months between his homecoming and his 2nd deployment (which he is on now), so our entire marriage has been an adjustment. What I always say and remind myself of is, "it's hard, but I want it to be hard with Patrick." It makes for a very strong love and you will appreciate every minute in a way civilians simply can't understand. <br />
Your power struggles are normal, I'm always telling him, "don't talk to me like I'm a boot." Your strength is part of what attracted to him to you. Focus on the positive, it will make the difficult times just a bit easier to endure! Feel welcome to message me if you have specific questions.

Bless, Thats great that your a strong person. Its hard when they go away and you have to be that single married mom. But you will learn to get into a routine and it will help allot. I will say however after they come home there are some ups and downs because our men come home and act like theyv'e been there so everything should go back to the way it was. But in your case you will have a little one aswell. But this only a short time and then things will go back to normal. Stay strong and know you have allot of great women on here for support.x