I [heart] Hardee's! No Kidding.

It's Tuesday night and that's the day I go to Hardee's to help my Grandmother clean up the restaurant so she can get out of work early and go to the VFW to hear her music. She has been working at Hardee's for about twelve years. After Grandfather died, the money from his birdhouse making business went away. Grandmother did not know how to make a birdhouse, and actually did not like birds. So to build a house for something she did not like seemed like a waste of time. She is really good at cleaning stuff, so she found a job that could make use of her talents. She may look and move like a person who is 89-years old, but she cleans like a robot!

She cannot bend over so well, so I get to clean the floors and gum scraping detail. People usually do not chew gum in Hardee's, but they obviously pick a lot of boogers because I scrape off what seems like hundreds of them. That does not bother me as much changing the oil and dumping it into the grease pit. The grease pit is a small dumpster out back that usually has a dead squirrel or rat in it when I do not get the lid back on right. It is very stinky and I am kind of afraid that something lives in it. Whenever you take the lid off the stuff starts moving around and it looks like is alive in there. I do not want to get bitten by some grease monster, so I dump the old grease in there as fast as I can then run back into the kitchen. That probably explains why the lid does not always get on there right.

I would like to have a job at Hardee's, but Grandmother says I need to stay home with Dad and make sure he takes his medicine and does not smoke in the house. He can smoke in his bedroom, but not in the living room where Grandmother likes to watch her stories. I think I would get a job here since I have practically lived here all of my life. As soon as I could walk, I pretty much came in here every day. I know all there is to know about the burger business and, you could say, a lot about the people who eat burgers.

Hardee's probably has the best burgers in town. The Creme-O downtown has an alright chilidog, but their burgers taste a barfed-on monkey turd. It's because their 'special sauce' has grape jelly in it. G-R-O-S-S-! I like Hardee's signature line of 'thick' burgers. There is the Monster Thickburger, the Chili Cheese Thickburger, the Patty Melt Thickburger, the 1⁄3 Lb. Thickburger, 1⁄3 Lb. Mushroom n' Swiss Thickburger, the 1⁄3 Lb. Bacon and Cheese Thickburger, the 1⁄3 Lb. Low Carb Thickburger [I have not ever eaten one of them], the 1⁄3 Lb. Grilled Sourdough Thickburger, the 2⁄3 Lb. Double Thickburger, and my favorite – the 2⁄3 Lb. Double Bacon and Cheese Thickburger. I know they have other stuff like chicken, fish and some other sissy crap, but you should know that I am a burger man. So if its got a lot of beef, mayo, bacon and cheese, then it's sure to please. But if it's got fish or a bird, then I'd rather eat a Creme-O barfed-on Monkey Turd.

Grandmother gets dressed back in the bathroom before we leave so she does not have to dance in her uniform. I understand why she does that, but man if I ever got the chance to wear a Hardee's uniform.... Man, you would have to pry that sucker off my dead corpse before I let loose of it! This is kind of a long shift for me on Tuesday nights, cause I have to wait in the car while she's hootin' and hollerin' in the VFW. When I was younger I once peeked inside the VFW. I had to go real bad because I had finished off an Super-Size Mr. Pibb and I could not eat my fried Apple Pie because my peepee was stinging like someone had poured a bottle of Tabasco down my pee hole. Every man in the room was dancing with her and carrying on with her. She may look and move like an 89-year old woman when she is in Hardee's working, but when she is dancing to her music she is just like a dancing robot!

Well I am off. It's cool because all of the tee vee shows are reruns right now and you can only watch them so many times before you don't care about watching them again. I am going to see if they have that milkshake machine working tonight because I want a real 'Chocolate Overload' milkshake this time and not the mix in a cup with ice.
DaddysLittleBoy DaddysLittleBoy
18-21, M
1 Response Jul 10, 2007

Go Grandma Go!!!!