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Being Single Is Really Not So Bad


The worst kind of loneliness is the kind that you experience when you are right beside the person you love and feel that way. It hurts right to the soul. When you reach out and the person you are with are not able or willing to take your hand no matter what you try it is the absolute rock bottom. That's when things are truly over because inaction in and of itself can doom a realtionship. Having been there it is safe to say that I never want to be in this situation again. A relationship is continual work and marriage doesn't negate that fact. Right now I am at times lonely but am also quite happy with where I am in life and the decisions I've made. Now all I need is a partner in crime and everything will be right in my world........I know it will happen. I'm ready to embrace it when it does :)
bassplayer bassplayer 46-50, M 25 Responses Jun 21, 2010

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You know the intital phase of loniliness fades onceandfuture. It hurts for a while but once you can stand back and realize that the person you were with wasn't for you it gets a whole lot easier. Often its the beginning of the process of rediscovering yourself. It's amazing how much another person can squash that. AND you get the whole bed - lol

AND you get the whole bed, onceandfutureglow. ;)

Thanks for posting this, Bass. I needed it this morning. : )<br />
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One of the things that lead me to leaving was contemplating the thought of loneliness. Is it worse to be lonely because you have no one, or worse to be lonely because you have someone but they don't care? And the latter always wins. Because at least single, you have the potential to find happiness. Stuck in a broken marriage, you have no hope.

Absolutely. Having someone in your life that takes you for granted really sucks. Some people I guess never grow up or clue in.

Being lonely when you are alone is different than being lonely when there is someone laying next to you. I'll take the alone lonely any day over the emotions and turmoil of having someone in your life that acts like they don't want anything to do with you.

Anytime Pamster. Living without affection and conversation is not really living in my books.

Well thank you for saying that and for stopping by :)

i appreciate your post.

That is of course a big part of it. There has to be two individuals that are apart from the relationship as well as in it. Something that becomes your everything is never healthy. Everyone benefits from a certain amount of alone time whether its spent reflecting and thinking or on other activities of interest.

Hi everyone, me too I have been there. Thing is, 6 years is a long time but never a waste of time. May be you don't have a "type of guy" you just know what you don't want. <br />
I think one of the many things that people does is think that the other person would somehow change the way they are. something I learn is...don't assume it will get better...it has to be great from the beginning...otherwise you are addapting to a roommate, or trying to do it in many ways. he doesn't like this or that, or he likes this like this and not like that...when it's not the right person I just get bored, i think...

I know exactly what you mean. I have been there before and it hurts alot. It's like you're so close but yet so far and if you're not with the right person, you can never really make it right no matter what you say or what you do. It is sad but you're doing the right thing. Live your life, do what's right for you and, hopefully, one day when you least expect it, you'll find your perfect partner in crime is standing right beside you and happy to be there. I hope for that too. I wish you the best in finding exactly what you're looking for!

Indeed :)

Well tick tock my friend...

I have to believe Bluebie that if the right person became the wrong person then they never really were the BEST person.<br />
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Thanks CS :)

I absolutely agree with every bit of what you said!! Excellent post!!

Yes, but what if the right person becomes the wrong person? Again?<br />
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I don't know Bassy, I am a true romantic at heart and can very well picture myself married again to some amazing guy. I just hope next time it is sustainable.

Well....I'm not anti marriage Bluebie, only anti being taken for granted - lol<br />
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I could see myself getting married to the right person. Emphasis on RIGHT person - lol<br />
I've learned a lot about myself this past while. Things I was accepting that were unacceptable. Making excuses for others crappy behaviour. Its funny that when you put yourself fully into things you can forget your own needs. They have to figure into things somewhere. When I do find that right person (or they find me) I imagine it will get to the point where I can't imagine not being married to them. That's the kind of love I hope for anyways.

That's just Bill O'reilly - lol

I know this will come as a shock to you (not. lol) but I am right there with you on this one. It's one of the reasons I'm not sure I will ever get married again. Why chance it?

gasps and runs away! hehehehehe

So true and don't feed him Canadian treats. They give him gas. Whew i smell it all the way in the South.

I have treats.........

hehehehehe hugs you!

lol<br />
The puppy knows !

two paws up for this post! you'll get there! YAY