Risk Vs. Reward
I have never been in love or even been on a date. I thought that I dealt with unrequited love several times, but it was just a limerence as a result of a mental illness. I'm not even sure if I want to be in love. These episodes of limerences sure were exciting, but when I think about real relationships, you know, good relationships, where its just two people living together and stuff, it seems boring and uninteresting. And since I'm not having sex and creating children and breaking hearts, I don't really know why I need to be married. What is the obligation to society if you're not living irresponsibly? I don't like someone having to live with me. I think that I would be worse to live with than most people and most men. Part of me wants to know what it is to be in love, but I'm afraid to risk it and wind up married to someone who gets bored with me or can no longer tolerate me. I'm OK enough being alone.